INSPIRING NUGGETS
From Annelies & Conduit for Change, LLC
Words of Wisdom
I once heard, "The best thing you can do is to MASTER the chaos in you. You are not thrown into the fire, you are the fire." Ahhh, yes. We are a little fire aren't we? We all have our deeply human ways we choose to empower or sometimes diminish ourselves and others. How do we move through difficult times when difficult times are sometimes what's here? The good thing is there's always good in what's hard. How to find it? I asked an elder her advice.
I recently asked a wise young-at-heart elder what she did in the 60's when things were up in the air, amiss with cultural change. She said "I had neighbors and friends and close ties to my family. We didn't really think or worry about what was happening 'out there'. I didn't get involved much. I wasn't trendy. I didn't even smoke pot as a kid! Even now, I still have a flip phone, no computer, no Facebook. I don't really follow trends. Didn't back then and don't now." Her voice trailed off in thought about her childhood and the world her grandchildren will inherit far after she's gone.
Her strong Brooklyn Jewish accent carried her and me back into her story, "When I was a kid, we cared about one another more. I'm not saying that we didn't have problems. You know... I DID go through the 60's!" She exclaimed as she laughed a big cackle of joy and pride.
"I guess, back then, we just focused on what we had that was good. And even when things were really bad, there was always good to be found." She drifted off in thought. "And there really is always something good in life, Annelies. You just havfta find it. You really hafta just find it. Or else life is hard and can be hopeless, if you don't..." She trailed off in thought.
She continued with conviction. "You know at my age, and where I live, in a senior community... many people don't have kids that are involved. We hafta take care of one another. 'Cause, there's always an ambulance zippin' by. Everyday, each of us are reminded that our time up here is near... But I can't think about that every second! I'd be so depressed!!" She laughed at the reality with a hardy belly giggle.
"I just gotta live with joy in my heart and help others. Live each day like a mitzvah, my grandmother used to say, each day a blessing. I helps me through and has helped me all along. 'Cause one day, I know I'm gonna go too. I want my grandchildren to know that life has its good parts. I don't want them to be blind nor ignorant to the reality of how different people can be but deep down we're all kinda the same, you know what I mean? I found that out when I traveled. I got a chance to see the world and that taught me a lot. We're very similar when you boil it down." She looked to me for validation. I nodded in full agreement, having traveled extensively myself. I listened deeply with every cell in my body to the wisdom she shared and that I know was so very true.
"I want my grand kids to know that coping skills and resiliency is so important. That's what helps us, it helps me cope with what's hard in life. I don't know..." She trailed off again. "I don't know if kids or even some people today have that skill, coping. Without coping skills there's no resiliency. It's hard to go through hard times when you don't know how to cope."
"Where did you get yours, your coping skills?" I asked.
"That's a good question, I don't know. I don't know, maybe my parents?", she asked herself out loud. "I learned probably by example from the people around me, my parents, grandparents, even my community. When we came home from school or on a weekend, all eyes were on each other and in a good way. We were all parented by each other. Neighbors moms were kinda all of our moms. There was a lot of collective compassion, shared responsibility."
She continued with a sense of newfound clarity and concern, "Where will people get their coping skills if they're hidden behind computer screens, televisions and walls? People don't seem to trust each other like we did in our neighborhood growing up. Everyone is behind walls now a days and so scared. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my community, even now. I know I live in an older community and we have our own set of things to worry about but I'm really glad that most of us care for one another. It's so important. Especially now, with so much goin' on, we must be able to rely on one another. We havta!" She finishes with strong Brooklyn conviction in her tone and timbre.
I settle into the sound and strength of her voice. I can feel it in my body, an almost overwhelming sense of responsibility, somberness, resiliency and hope. It felt like resiliency embodied. In the face of hard, we do what needs doing. Be scared and do it anyway.
"You know... Annelies, having this conversation with you... I kinda feel like I was at your retreat that you talked about this weekend. I feel like I learned something important about myself and about life." She claimed. "Me too, sweet Lenore." I confirmed my appreciation back. "It is important, thank you. It IS important." I repeat.
I shared this story with you to I emphasize how important it is to exchange words with those who hold wisdom. I cannot emphasize this enough. And how important it is to exchange words with one another to investigate our own inner wisdom.
During the retreat I facilitated this past weekend, we explored our deep wisdom and connected to the hidden grief we all carry. Life isn't always fun. And although fun and distraction serves a purpose for awhile, at some point, it's deeply important to connect to the parts that silently affect our sense of strength, vision and capacity to cope which essentially feeds our resiliency.
In a world where disconnect is a way of life, we must remember how profoundly important connecting to ourselves, to one another and to the world around us is to facilitating our skill-set of resiliency. How might you, in the face of adversity, fear and stress, make a deeper connection today? What touch or action can you make today that might have been a fleeting thought yesterday? Don't wait for chaos, create calm now by making a connection. Don't make me write a book to tell you what to do. ;) Connect today.
I recently asked a wise young-at-heart elder what she did in the 60's when things were up in the air, amiss with cultural change. She said "I had neighbors and friends and close ties to my family. We didn't really think or worry about what was happening 'out there'. I didn't get involved much. I wasn't trendy. I didn't even smoke pot as a kid! Even now, I still have a flip phone, no computer, no Facebook. I don't really follow trends. Didn't back then and don't now." Her voice trailed off in thought about her childhood and the world her grandchildren will inherit far after she's gone.
Her strong Brooklyn Jewish accent carried her and me back into her story, "When I was a kid, we cared about one another more. I'm not saying that we didn't have problems. You know... I DID go through the 60's!" She exclaimed as she laughed a big cackle of joy and pride.
"I guess, back then, we just focused on what we had that was good. And even when things were really bad, there was always good to be found." She drifted off in thought. "And there really is always something good in life, Annelies. You just havfta find it. You really hafta just find it. Or else life is hard and can be hopeless, if you don't..." She trailed off in thought.
She continued with conviction. "You know at my age, and where I live, in a senior community... many people don't have kids that are involved. We hafta take care of one another. 'Cause, there's always an ambulance zippin' by. Everyday, each of us are reminded that our time up here is near... But I can't think about that every second! I'd be so depressed!!" She laughed at the reality with a hardy belly giggle.
"I just gotta live with joy in my heart and help others. Live each day like a mitzvah, my grandmother used to say, each day a blessing. I helps me through and has helped me all along. 'Cause one day, I know I'm gonna go too. I want my grandchildren to know that life has its good parts. I don't want them to be blind nor ignorant to the reality of how different people can be but deep down we're all kinda the same, you know what I mean? I found that out when I traveled. I got a chance to see the world and that taught me a lot. We're very similar when you boil it down." She looked to me for validation. I nodded in full agreement, having traveled extensively myself. I listened deeply with every cell in my body to the wisdom she shared and that I know was so very true.
"I want my grand kids to know that coping skills and resiliency is so important. That's what helps us, it helps me cope with what's hard in life. I don't know..." She trailed off again. "I don't know if kids or even some people today have that skill, coping. Without coping skills there's no resiliency. It's hard to go through hard times when you don't know how to cope."
"Where did you get yours, your coping skills?" I asked.
"That's a good question, I don't know. I don't know, maybe my parents?", she asked herself out loud. "I learned probably by example from the people around me, my parents, grandparents, even my community. When we came home from school or on a weekend, all eyes were on each other and in a good way. We were all parented by each other. Neighbors moms were kinda all of our moms. There was a lot of collective compassion, shared responsibility."
She continued with a sense of newfound clarity and concern, "Where will people get their coping skills if they're hidden behind computer screens, televisions and walls? People don't seem to trust each other like we did in our neighborhood growing up. Everyone is behind walls now a days and so scared. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my community, even now. I know I live in an older community and we have our own set of things to worry about but I'm really glad that most of us care for one another. It's so important. Especially now, with so much goin' on, we must be able to rely on one another. We havta!" She finishes with strong Brooklyn conviction in her tone and timbre.
I settle into the sound and strength of her voice. I can feel it in my body, an almost overwhelming sense of responsibility, somberness, resiliency and hope. It felt like resiliency embodied. In the face of hard, we do what needs doing. Be scared and do it anyway.
"You know... Annelies, having this conversation with you... I kinda feel like I was at your retreat that you talked about this weekend. I feel like I learned something important about myself and about life." She claimed. "Me too, sweet Lenore." I confirmed my appreciation back. "It is important, thank you. It IS important." I repeat.
I shared this story with you to I emphasize how important it is to exchange words with those who hold wisdom. I cannot emphasize this enough. And how important it is to exchange words with one another to investigate our own inner wisdom.
During the retreat I facilitated this past weekend, we explored our deep wisdom and connected to the hidden grief we all carry. Life isn't always fun. And although fun and distraction serves a purpose for awhile, at some point, it's deeply important to connect to the parts that silently affect our sense of strength, vision and capacity to cope which essentially feeds our resiliency.
In a world where disconnect is a way of life, we must remember how profoundly important connecting to ourselves, to one another and to the world around us is to facilitating our skill-set of resiliency. How might you, in the face of adversity, fear and stress, make a deeper connection today? What touch or action can you make today that might have been a fleeting thought yesterday? Don't wait for chaos, create calm now by making a connection. Don't make me write a book to tell you what to do. ;) Connect today.
LIVE & LEAD MINDFULLY
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- reduce stress & manage change
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