Self-Control
Putting the breaks on impulses can be difficult for both children and adults. But did you know that research shows the ability to control your attention, emotions, thoughts and actions is the most highly correlated strength associated with adult wealth, health, and happiness? It is a stronger predictor of success than grades or IQ. As parents, we all want our kids to be THRIVERS as adults. Self-Control can be taught. Our parent book study is currently focusing on the Self-Control chapter of the book Thrivers, by Michele Borba. The book outlines some ways we can teach self-control at home and school. Here are some of those strategies you may want to apply:
- Reduce attention robbers (things that distract our kids from focusing on the people and events around them). This can mean avoiding overscheduling our lives-cut one activity for your kids to have time to recharge. Screen time is another attention robber.
- Stretch the wait time- Time your kid's current waiting ability, or how long he can pause before an impulse gets the best of him. Slowly increase that time and stretch self-control over the weeks by teaching wait strategies (breathing strategies, take a break, counting, timers).
- Play waiting games. Self control is like a muscle that can be built up through practice over time. Playing board games, taking turns, playing Red Light, Green Light or Freeze Tag are all ways to improve the ability to control impulses.
- Model self-control. We all have moments of frustration or impulse. Talk through those times with your kids with phrases like, "I am feeling really upset right now, so I am going to take 3 minutes to breathe and control myself before we talk about this."
