Advice For a Madwomen

By max pearson

Help from the wizard of love

Dear wizard,

I have read your column for years,but I never thought I would be writing to you. I've tried going to meetings for"women who love to much" but I'm still hurting, so I thought maybe you could help me. My problem is the guy I love doesn't want to be in the same room with me... I need help getting this guy I love to love me back. I don't know what to do! He said he wanted to throw me to the beasts! I want you to help me make him love me. I don't care if you use magic, just make him love me!

Advice from the wizard of love

Dear desperate lover,

I have read your letter and came up with some solutions for your problem. Choice one is to get another guy. Ya know, one that doesn't "hate" you and likes you for you. The bad thing about this plan is you won't get the guy you want. But in plan two, you can continue following him around and life will continue on as it is with him still hating you. But there is a 1/1,000,000 chance that he will give in to you and will start liking you. He probably won't though, because you are VERY creepy.

I wish you luck and hope you get this guy, but if you don't get him, do not send me anymore letters ever again.

sincerely, the Wizard of Love.