Boys Town Skill of the Week
Making an Apology
Making an Apology
Disagreements, accidents, and misunderstandings happen at school. If students never take responsibility and apologize, or if they seem insincere when they do, an environment of bitterness and resentment can easily develop. In such an unforgiving atmosphere, behavior problems tend to occur with greater frequency. By teaching students how to make an apology, you are teaching them life long skills of accepting responsibility for their actions, respect for others' feelings, & empathy.
Planned Teaching
Introduce the Skill
- Begin discussion about different occasions they may have had to apologize to someone
- Talk about how an apology to a friend or sibling might sound different than an apology to a teacher or a friend's parent
- Discuss with students that sometimes saying sorry isn't enough to correct a situation and they will have to do more to rebuild trust, earn forgiveness, and fix the problem
- Brainstorm reasons why it is important to know how to make an apology
Describe the Appropriate Behavior
- Look at the person (use neutral/sincere facial expression-avoid frowning or laughing)
- Use a serious, sincere voice tone but don't pout (don't sound condescending, dismissive, or phony)
- Say "I'm sorry for..(say specifically what you did to cause pain, hurt, or embarrassment)
- Don't make excuses or try to rationalize your behavior (own up to your actions)
- Sincerely say that you will try not to repeat the same behavior in the future (say HOW you will avoid doing it in the future or what you will do instead)
- Offer to compensate or pay restitution
- Thank the other person for listening
For Younger Kiddos, simplify the steps
- Look at the person
- Use a voice like you mean it
- Say "I'm sorry for..."
- Say "Next time I wil..."
Give a Reason or Rationale
- Everyone makes errors in judgement or does something that hurts or disappoints others. When you can recognize mistakes, you can try to correct the situation and soothe hurt feelings. Making an apology is the first step. It may not always make everything ok, but it starts the healing process.
- Shows maturity
- Helps repair relationships
- Helps maintain friendships
- Makes forgiveness more likely
- Makes it more likely that someone will hold a grudge against you or remain angry
- Shows respect
- Shows you recognize your mistakes and are mature enough to admit them
Practice/Role Play
- You argued with your teacher about how she graded your paper. You disrupted the class and interrupted your teacher. How should you apologize for your behavior?
- In the cafeteria someone made fun of your friend. You didn't defend your friend and even joined in with hurtful comments. Your friend found out and is hurt. How should you apologize?
- You have a substitute teacher. When her back is turned you make funny faces at her. When she turns around she catches you and is sad and angry. Respond by apologizing and saying you're sorry.
- You didn't do your chores around the house and are grounded for the weekend. You were so angry you yelled at your mom and stomped away. To repair your relationship with mom, show and say you're sorry.
- See links below for more scenarios
Journaling
- List some times when apologizing is important
- Why should you learn how to make an apology?
- Are there ever times when offering an apology is not necessary? When and why?
Feedback
- Praise specific steps followed and give feedback on areas of improvement
- Let students know you will be watching in order to "catch them" using the skill
- Continue to praise and re-teach as needed
Making an Apology 2013
What Kids Need to Know
Saying I'm Sorry | Little Mandy Manners | TinyGrads | Children's Videos | Character Songs
Sunny the Puppet - Learning to Apologize, Luli TV
SuperCamp: The 4 Part Apology
What's Your Apology Language?
4 Part Apology
Skillstreaming Apology Lesson
Sorry I Forgot To Ask
Apology Song Video
Google Shared Drive under PD and Resources - PBiS - Boys Town
Hether Darnell
Academic & Behavior Facilitator
Tech Academy @ Pettit Park
Email: hdarnell@kokomo.k12.in.us
Website: http://kokomoschools.com/
Location: 901 W Havens St, Kokomo, IN, United States
Phone: 765-454-7075
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hether.darnell
Twitter: @HetherDarnell