2 People, 1 Baby

Amaziah Roy Smith Jr

...and then there was Amaziah

I'm not big on light skins, to be truthful, but if you take a good look at Amaziah, you couldn't tell.

I met Roy in the spring of 2014. Now usually I can meet someone and tell whether we will make it somewhere or nowhere and who would've known what would happen next. He is the eldest of 4 brother so that makes him an authority figure apparently over me too. I usually wore the "big boy pants" in previous relationships but he had them on that week. *Flashback to a week later* We got into a big argument about how I don't give him enough respect and how I should be more appreciative but typical me said your not my father (frankly I don't even know my father) and left.

*Fast-forward to when we started talking again* I know what your thinking and no I did not apologize first. You want to wear the draws your going to wear the apologies too. It was the time period of severe rain in Houston. Rain equals feelings, feelings equals Netflix, Netflix equals "let me call that boy and see what he doing" and it was May so the time period was May weather so I asked "May he please bring himself over". We missed the first half of Don't be a Menace to say the least. This happened on 3 occasions in a 2 week time period. Missed the whole movie of Home Alone 2, the first half of Coming to America and The Wood. But conception happened on the last occurrence . I didn't know I was fully pregnant until the week after. I was also told the gender 2 weeks prior to finding out. My labor was extensive because he arrived a month early. It seems to run in the family that babies arrive a month before due date. He was born May 24, 2015 6 lbs 4 ounces, healthy.

Amaziah received his name from the bible. Amaziah means the strength of the lord and Roy means Roy because his father wanted him to take after him.

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First Night

Amaziah wasn't as fussy as I thought he would be on the first night. I intended to get up every other 30 minutes and tend to him. He cried when I put him down, not as soon as I put him down but when he sensed I wasn't holding him anymore he begin to fuss. We don't do pacifiers. He just cries, and cries. The only reason for this is that I don't him to get into the habit of relying on a pacifier for relief.

When he cries, I do what I do to my nieces and nephews, I mimic his cooing while holding him. For some reason it works.

He was fed in 2 hr intervals. He was not breast fed. His changes were before and after feedings.

Word form the wise: Don't let your babies father try to tell you how and where your child should sleep on the first night especially since, you know , you carried him for 9 months.

Amaziah did not, under any circumstances, sleep with is. His father wanted him to because he felt a newborn should be kept under close eye but whats a baby monitor and a nanny cam for? Exactly. I gave him 2 reasons why I didn't want the baby to sleep with us: 1. If we start that he will never be able to sleep on his own, 2. Safety hazard, we both are horrible sleepers, one wrong move and we have no more Amaziah. He didn't go for that he tried to argue his way through it, "what if something happens, what if he stop breathing" I felt for him on the breathing statement because my parents almost lost me due to me not breathing when sleeping. However I flipped the script " okay so if he lays with you and you roll over on him and suffocate him then what? or if you make a wrong move and he falls out of the bed? Would you rather be apart of his death and feel guilty or not be apart of his death and still feel a sense of guilt?" I won the argument. Instead of having Amaziah in a crib of his own in his own room, we moved the crib into our room. Huge mistake His father held him every single chance he got. I moved the crib out the room at that point.

Each cry is a different meaning. His low whine is a diaper change. His high pitched cry is a feeding. Each cry happens at least 5 times a night. His feedings are in 2 hr intervals. And diaper changes follow according to feedings.

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AY CHIHUAHUA que paso con mi bebe?

Amaziah is usually not what we call a "cry baby". He is fairly quiet is he cries its for a good reason and something is truly not right. He cried a high whine and his voice carried a different tone. He wasn't hungry wet or wanting to be held. His ears were red. along with a fever and a runny nose. We thought it was a common cold so treated it like so. His father took showers that were hot so the steam would open his airways and nostrils for ease, so Amaziah sat in my arms in the bathroom. That didn't work so I scheduled a appointment with his pediatrician. It was determined that he had RSV. For Amaziah it was hard to distinguish it form a common cold because he had no other medical history. It was determined he had RSV by testing his nasal secretions. I myself do when I was a child I spent months in the hospital due to respiratory issues. This typically last about a week if treated correctly. If not it can last several weeks.

I know when that hotline bling- it's about some parenting

"Q. Can you tell me why my 34-month-old daughter is throwing so many tantrums? A: She throws tantrums because you don't obey her." Seen this on News and Observer and it caught my attention. As a parent I can see how this is true. But also you have to discipline your child. They are suppose to obey you, THE ADULT, not the other way around.

The Journey

Amaziah was a joy to have around and carry. Almost felt as if he was my real child. Once i stopped carrying him around it did feel different. Felt like a void to say the least. At first I didn't think I'd get attached but I did fairly quickly by the second day. Amaziah was never excluded out of anything. Whether I faced time his father or went to sleep or went grocery shopping. His father got attached as well so did his grandmother. If i wasn't holding him she was. I liked the experience the project gave us but I did not creating the baby. The hardest part was laying Amaziah to rest. He died by death of the pavement. Poor thing exploded into particles