Volcanoes Away!

Read this to get rid of the danger of pesky volcanoes

Saftey tips: Before

Notice that you have a volcano is nearby and develop a route of escape that won't be blocked by traffic when everyone else has the same brilliant idea as you and tries to escape the exploding volcano. And get a gas mask so that you won't choke on nasty ash released during the explosion.

Saftey tips: During

If you notice the volcano's acting even slightly strange (IE: rumbling, having smoke come out of it, acting depressed, etc, etc) use that brilliant escape plan and evacuate the area until you're at least 100 miles away. Oh and use that gas mask you paid for so that you won't suffocate due to ash from the while running away. You wouldn't have remembered that without me now would you? You now owe me a life debt sucker.

Saftey tips after

Congratulate yourself for surviving and then thank me for giving you the advice to save yourself. I will accept thanks in cash and valuable jewelry. Word thanks not accepted. Oh and you'll need a new house. You should have thought of that before buying a house near an active volcano, that had been a brilliant idea.