The Epic Love Zone

Daniel Ulrich

From: The Evicted Girlfriend

Dear Daniel,


I am currently having a problem with my love. A fancy jock called Demetrius won't do anything for love between me and him. He won't accept my valentines, kiss me, or even pick roses for me. How can I create a bond between Demetrius and I if he won't take a chance?


Your biggest fan,

Abused and unloved

The Reply

Dear Abused and unloved,


I have had the same problems before. I could suggest you recite a love poem, or ask him what flowers he likes best. That should help win his heart. Try it yourself, and see how it goes, but if it fails, just write me back, 'kay?


Sincerely

Daniel Ulrich

What the Person Wrote Back

Dear Daniel,


Tried it, and it was an A-level epic fail. I need more advice!


Your Biggest Fan,

Mistreated Puppy

The Author's Reply

Dear Mistreated Puppy,


Try a song or a meal together. Within a few hours, you can finally have your love target hit in the bullseye.


Sincerely,

The Epic Love Man(Daniel Ulrich)