My Modest Proposal

By Marquise Burns

The Problem

I bring you here my fellow world leaders to discuss a grave matter that if not dealt with may cause not only our economy to desinigrate but the world itself. It has been said time and time again that the strong survive and the weak perish. Well my good friends i say now is the time to take that motto into consideration. As we speak the world is being eaten alive by creatures with eyes ranging the color of the rainbow. They scurry about not thinking of the consequences their unfullfield bellies and their daily reproductive system bring to this world. Who are these monsters you ask? Well they are non other than the slackers in the slums and even the middle class who pose no real purpose in our society. The world is over populated and if nothing is done not only will we soon be out of natural resources but we will have to start building extra houses on our brand new one million mile golf course. Which would be nothing more than an outrage. So my fellow world leaders i say again. Now is the time to protect our way of life and end this chapter of the worlds overpopulated land.
Big image

The solution

My solution to this problem is quite simple. Destroy the the insects that do nothing but destroy everything in their path. Sure they may be useful for entertainment purposes but all they do is sleep, eat and sit around moving papers. Everything and everyone with little to no importance must go, School teachers, parents, teens anyone able to reproduce at a pace unacceptable to our plans. This of course would be all of the lower classmen who fit into these categories. With them gone wildlife will begin to flourish once more since we could move out of their habitats. Natural resources such as plants and food will begin to seem of abundance since their wont so many greedy hands squirming around the supply. My friends i think i speak for all of when i say that with the end of places like the slums and the mediocre five bedroom house families, this world will be reborn. Consider yourself gods gentlemen because with what i have planned we will give birth to a new earth. An earth that god has lost track of and now as men we have the duty to do what should have been done a long time ago. Destroying everyone and maintaining a world with only a few thousand people per counrty.

The Plan

My plan is flawless and without a doubt one of the greatest plans you will ever come up with for this problem we now face. You see, what we will do is send out a super pill that people will have to take every twenty-five years. Even though everyone would have to take the pill not everyone will die. there will be a fifty-fifty chance that you will either get the death pill or the clean pill in which it would be nothing more than a non-toxic vitamin. Now i know what you all are thinking, what will happen if we of higher superiority succumb to this death pill? Well thats simple. We make sure only the lower and middle class gets most of the death pills and then send the rest to people of the upperclass we do not like. This will make it seem like everyone is getting a fair shot when it comes down to it. My plan will not only bring down the starvation rate since we would of course use the dead bodies for food; It would aslo help in the oil and fuel buisness for the bodies that we dont eat would be used to burn in factors and gasoline for cars. With these new resources our world would no longer have to struggle to provide food and shelter for unnecessary people that just take up space. Thus, making this plan on of the greatest plans since Napoleon.

The Advantages

So to go on with how this will benefit in the long run, these are some major advantages that my committee has come up with. One of the advantages would be that no family would go hungry due to the surplus of bodies used for food. Another advantage would be wildlife would begin to flourish once again due to the fact that we would be able to take the houses down that are not in use anymore in which we would be giving those animals pushed out their homes back. The next advantage would be that all of the worlds natural resources would begin to replenish due to the fact that the remaining humans would not need to consume so much of those resources since our numbers would be decreased exponentially. This would take years but eventually the world would be returned to a new world so to speak. The last advantage would be the health of our people. The last advantage we would have would be the health of the people will be better than it has been in over two-hundred years. This will be possible with the help of the doctors that will be able to treat more patience since there wouldn't be an overwhelming amount of people trying to see the doctors, everyone would be able to be seen.

The Expidents

Now there have been other ideas but when you really think about it they seem pretty ridiculous and inhumane. For example, there have been claims that by making it a law for couples to only be able to have two children in their lifetime it would cut down on the number of people in the country. What do I have to say to this? Look at china they have this rule implemented but do they not have one of the largest populations in the world? Another idea that has been thrown around would be to implement a birth control policy that will prevent people from having children until a certain age in which by the time the next generation would get older the older generations would be gone. This solution would be horrible because we wouldn't be able to use those bodies for anything since they would be too old and wrinkly to eat or use for fuel. The last idea that I have heard was to start adopting kids instead of having kids. The number of kids that are currently homeless around the world would currently be around 100,000,000+ kids. If everyone adopted at least one kid it would give the world a little time; this plan could work but the money would come from the rich and i don't plan on giving up any of my luxuries.

The Conclusion

Now you have heard my most modest of proposals and even though I know that everyone feels as though no one in their right minds would go against this pure genius there are those who will try and go against the new way of life. This is why as world leaders we the strong must stand and as one bring an end to this harder way of life. If you want to go in the history books as the ones who changed the world for the better and worshiped as gods you will follow the path I have laid in front of you; Or you can go down in the history books as the weak that were to afraid to do what was right. Any way you look at its really your decision. Just know if you're the only one to deny this plan you might be the one who gets the death pill instead of the vitamin