ten rules for my utopian society
- there is to be a true freedom of religion, including in that the society is not be primarily based upon one religion in respect to the uncertainty of all religions
- people will be paid and rewarded through other means according to their passion and work ethic
- there will be no slaughter, testing, or hunting of animals and there will be no instance allowed in which a human may make money off of an animal in a way that requires the animal to do something that it would not other wise do on its own (bees doing their thing and making honey is cool, but you can leave if you want to hook a mechanical milker up to a cow who has zero time for your disgusting nonsense. gurl, bye)
- no books or publications are to be banned because how do people not have something better to do than banning books because they're a little girl who's scared that others might use them to enlighten themselves
- there will be no favoritism of either gender in courts, workplaces, etc.
- in conjunction with rule six, rape will not be treated as a faulty step of the victim due to their choice of clothing or location at the time of the incident, but rather as a moral fault of the suspect. and in relation, abortions are not to be permitted except for in the case of rape (oh no, people have to be held accountable for their choices!1!!)
- crimes to nature (what is traditionally considered "nature," humans, animals) will merit the heaviest consequences
- no chemicals, dyes, synthetic materials, or other materials not naturally occurring are to be permitted in goods meant for consumption or cosmetic application, even if it costs the company more money
- no group of certain sexual identification will be singled out or discriminated against just to appease religious beliefs, socially sensitive people, or any other group wishing to be specially accommodated at the expense of others
- I will be the supreme leader of all water supplied to everyone ever and if they act dumb then they're getting cold shower water until they realize how little time people have for their rubbish <3
six word memoir
a *better* cast for 1984 starring...
Cara Delevigne as Winston's mysteriously pretty and rebellious lover, Julia. Cara Delevigne would be great for this role because she has a mysterious beauty to her that is louder than her underlying rebelliousness.
Ryan Gosling as Big Brother, the mysterious "leader" of Oceania that is never seen in person but adorns every aspect of 1984's watchful society. Ryan Gosling would be great for this role because if everyone ever is going to have to stare at someone's face on everything everywhere they go, they might as well be as good of a view as Ryan Gosling.
Hank Green(bean) as Syme, Winston's suspected rebel coworker who is both great with words and a destroyer of words. Hank Green(bean) would be great for this role because he is great at both creating and destroying one's vocabulary, and he also loves science.
JonTron as O'Brien, the supposed Brotherhood member who really works for the Inner Party. JonTron would be great for this role because nothing says deception and questionability like JonTron.
Donald Trump as the deceptive Mr.Charrington, who does a variety of things to "aid" Winston, only to turn against him by being a member of the Thought Police. Donald Trump would be great for this role because he, too, has a myriad of bad ideas and tactics through which he deeply offends people who somehow did not see them coming.
Kenan Thompson as Parsons, Miss Parsons's fat, bland husband that spends his days at the Ministry of Truth and is the aloof father to two Satan spawns. Kenan Thompson would be great for this role because Parsons is the type of person that you can imagine widening his eyes, looking directly at the camera, and saying "woops" whenever one of his Satan children either literally or metaphorically blows the whole world up, which Kenan Thompson is very good at.
Bill Hader as Emmanuel Goldstein, the mysterious leader of the feared and scandalous Brotherhood, a group notorious for rebelling against the Party. Bill Hader is the only person for this role because he is good at making hissing/splashing/death/bird noises and has experience with wigs with horns attached.