SEL Spotlight
April 2021
April Focus: Relationship Skills
Key Skills We Can Model and Teach:
Relationship skills, like all other important skills, must be taught. We need to ensue that students experience the fundamentals.
- Positive Communication
- Social Skills and Engagement
- Relationship Building
Skills to include:
- Initiating contact with others and cultivating friendship
- Sharing one’s thoughts and feelings (appropriately)
- Communicating effectively
- Developing positive relationships
- Demonstrating cultural humility
- Practicing teamwork and collaborative problem-solving
- Resolving conflicts constructively
- Approaching relationships with positive presuppositions
- Resisting negative social pressure
- Resisting stereotypes
- Standing up for the rights of others
- Showing leadership in groups
- Seeking or offering support and help when needed
Ultimately, social awareness and relationship skills are closely linked. For example, when students attempt to resolve a conflict between themselves (relationship skills), the process is made easier when both are able to empathize with each other (social awareness). (berkeley.edu)
Relationships are the Foundation!
Did You Know It's Science?
Positive Relationships and Brain Science go Hand-in-hand!
Students' brains are constantly processing information and connected what they know and how they feel to new information. They are also connecting that knowledge and those feelings to their relationships with us. When students feel supported and understood, they have better academic outcomes. Feeling safe, understood, and appreciated has positive impacts on the brain and what it can do.
1. Positive relationships increase motivation.
Positive interactions lay the foundation for positive relationships. That positivity has a powerful effect on the brain. Authentic connection, praise, positivity, and support cause the brain to release dopamine. Dopamine creates positive feelings and improves mood. Dopamine also improves motor skill function and communication. This cause and effect means that your positive interaction with students makes them feel more successful and good about what they are doing. That breeds motivation. A cycle begins. You provide positive feedback, and the student experiences dopamine. They are more motivated and seek to repeat the cycle. The reverse, though, is when students don’t receive positive feedback, they’re less likely to enter the positive cycle of motivation and learning.
To build a positive relationship, you must have more positive interactions than negative ones. In fact, research indicates you need 5-10 positive interactions for every one negative interaction. Positive interactions can be simple - greeting students by name, praise for hard work, asking students about personal interests/family, etc. Research shows that students that think and learn in nontraditional ways often have more negative school interactions. For example, students with ADHD may hear things like "Don't...", "Stop...", "Quit doing...", and other redirects more than they hear any praise in a day. Corrective feedback is needed, but students must receive positive interactions that outweigh those tougher moments. By increasing the positive to negative ratio, the relationship increases. Likewise, motivation and output increases.
2. Quality relationships improve the sense of safety and security in learning places.
Conversations, laughter, high-fives, social interactions, and acts of kindness all cause the body to release oxytocin. Oxytocin has physical and psychological effects. Oxytocin helps people have less stress and anxiety. This hormone also helps people feel a sense of connection or a bond with others. These connections and bonds help build psychological safety. When students feel psychologically safe in the classroom, they are more willing to participate, ask questions, take chances, and be themselves. All of these attributes will help them reach higher levels of success.
You can build psychological safety in your classroom by increasing opportunities for meaningful social interactions. Encourage students to get involved, but be understanding when some social skills are more challenging for some than others. Praise students for their efforts rather than their outcomes. Create and follow social norms in your classroom. Lastly, build in the basics that can make a large difference. Talk to and/or high five each student as they come in the door. Have students do turn and talks regularly. Incorporate fun and laughter where you can. Model kindness and encourage students to act kind to others as well. Each of these small things will add up to increased safety and security for your students as well as stronger, more meaningful relationships.
3. Positive relationships build new pathways for learning.
When we have strong relationships with students, we are able connect to them. This allows us to tap into their background knowledge and current/past experiences. When we do this, it improves their learning of new information and helps build neural pathways. These pathways connect new and old information, helping students thrive in the classroom. If students aren't able to build these information "links," they will struggle to comprehend and learn.
The best way to build these neural pathways is through connection; that means through relationships. When we take the time to get to know our students, we can connect new learning to them and their interests. We can individualize the learning experience. This can be done through allowing students to share predictions prior to the new learning, discussing what students already know about the upcoming topic, or asking students to share personal learning connections with others. Try using things you know about your students to create analogies that fit with the material, characters, or information being learned. The more we know about our students, the more we can improve their learning.
4. Positive relationships improve student behavior.
Students mirror the behavior of the individuals they spend time with and are around regularly. Research shows that the relationships young people have early on, including relationships with teachers, play an integral role in helping shape behavior and social skills. Our actions, words, and relationships matter immensely. What we model is what our students will follow. According to science, our brains pick up and practice what we observe. Think about how a baby mimics the sounds that hear as they try to discover their own voices. We are wired to repeat behaviors. Don't we want to make sure the right behaviors are evident to repeat?
One of the best ways to ensure positive relationships are present in your classroom is to establish and maintain your social contract. Make sure that each and every day mutually respectful behaviors are practiced in your classroom. Be intentional about ways you can build and model relational capacity as well. Consider having a quote of the day about kindness, empathy, or gratitude. Even reminding students to share, take turns, not interrupt, ask for permission, express thanks, etc. on a daily basis will help them develop valuable relationship skills that they will need for the rest of their lives.
Relationships are the foundation for everything! If we want our students to grow and succeed, in academics and in social/emotional areas, we must invest in creating, modeling, and sustaining positive relationships.
Connection Checklist
This list is a great resource you can use to help gauge your connection with your students. Fill in the blank with each of the words listed? Do your students feel _________?
The goal is that we can emphatically say "yes" to each of these questions. When our students experience these sentiments in our classrooms, true connection is present.
Check Out These Articles for More Ideas on Building Relationships:
Continuing Education Department
Email: russlerr@greenvilleisd.com
Website: https://www.greenvilleisd.com/domain/946
Location: 4004 Moulton Street, Greenville, TX, USA
Phone: 903-408-4464