Week 19: Surrender your asterisk
Or I'll fuckin kill you
Lines of the Night
Wednesday: CatPasey: 2g, 7a, -9, 2pim, 6ppp, 13sog, 16fw, 11hit, 7blk
Thursday: Zamboners: 4g, 15a, +10, 14pim, 6ppp, 19sog, 37fw, 7hit, 12blk
Friday: NeonDion PewpMachine: 1g, 4a, 1ppp, 6sog, 10fw, 6hit, 4blk
Saturday: Zamboners: 1g, 10a, +5, 8pim, 5ppp, 18sog, 35fw, 11hit, 12blk
Sunday: CatPasey: 2g, 5a, -7, 6pim, 1ppp, 25sog, 42fw, 16hit, 9blk
Week 19 Matchups
Nana nana boo boo........stick ur head in doo doo (ELBOWs 7, Droplets 4):
I don't blame Ryan for being semi checked out for this matchup, because IT'S TIME FOR LULU'S LOVE CORNER Y'ALL!!!!
;-* Lulu's Love Corner ;-*
Pop those bewbz don't stop (Beast 11, Joan 2):
Every morning, seven 6" miniature Saksens would wake up naked in 7 little beds, each crank one out while still in bed, not clean it up, then gather around a breakfast table (still naked) and eat a Golden Corral and Arby's feast. Then they would gather their mining equipment and march in unison to the salt mines while singing "hi-ho, hi-ho, to plow some ass we go." All day long they would chip away at the salt mines until they brought home enough TO THROW IT ALL OVER BRIAN'S PHAT B00BZ. Once again, sweet goalie starts Brian.
Charlie Brown (Zamz 8, Meows 4):
Battle for heaviest drinker goes to....AUSTIN SSSSHHHHHHHH (SHARP 7, Neon 4):
In the blink of an eye, the Neonz have found themselves in the epicenter of a trAIDS epidemic. Steve Ott - rendered useless now for the Blues. Luongo to the Panthurz? Ruh roh. The Dionz have faced adversity before. Do you remember that time Pete started the first month of the season with at least three players on the IR? Do you remember that time he surged back with a glowing clue to slay hoodrats seven weeks in a row? Do you remember that time he walked barefoot all over..the broken glass..that was pretty bad ass.
..do you..d-do you remember that time you said "the love you take is equal to the love you make"?
Is that true?
Congratz on dem (Pasey 8, Lamorneus 5):
Week 19 Awards
Domesticated: THAT IS NOT AN ELBOW Allllright, I can no longer fend off the award. The rumors are true, this week decidely goes to me. Fuck me in my butt with a shovel. I'm coming strong with the 1-2 punch this week though, so don't even try to step to my domestication game.
Ugggghhhh, Exhibit A:
I don't even give a care, because check out all the positions I can do now (in order of difficulty):
- Praying Penis Viper
- Tenderloin Sidewalk Loaf Pinch
- Facial Foot Massage (via Wide Sideward Scissors)....this one is really fucking sttttupid
- Warm Prowler (we don't do Bikram, so we can't do the Hot version. That's really advanced stuff)
- Standing Spock Assault
- Missionary Matthew (only at the end, when the lights are off. All clothes have to be on too)
- Sneaky Scorpion
- Naughahyde the Salami
- Door Frame Head Blaster
- Fartbox Tongue Punch
All in all, I have no regrets, but go ahead....make all the fun you want. It's made my ankle and knee feel way better since that fateful day (June 23rd) when that big oaf Saksen obliterated my knee. Just remember....jealousy is a stinky cologne.
Week 20 Predictions
Cat Droplets: Can Ryan take advantage of a slaloming Pasey? Not so fast, he's probably too busy jet setting to Menver for some hawt action from either Leto or his gal pal. Danglez 7, Pasey 5
Joan Meow: Matt is pretty much out of playoff contention, and Brian might be checked out too? Clash of the auto pilots? Joan 8, Meowzerz 4
Austin Charlie: Charlie is still comin for those munz, and dammit to hell if Austin is gonna let him. Jk, with an asterisk and a full week of Cal Trains, he totally will. Zamz 8, SHARP 3
Neon Power: It's Pete's lucky week if he still plans on not dropping off. Chris has wisely set his lineup but will be too deep in Matterhorn to make any m00vz. Pewp 8, Power 4
Haz a gud weekend, and don't 4get 2 shut the fuck up,