The St. Petersburg Chronicles
Thursday, March 5
Drowned? Or Kidnapped?!
Editor: Gene Lee
Yesterday, it was deemed that three boys - Tom Sawyer, Joe Harper, and Huckleberry Finn - were missing.
"I went to bed expectin' to find Tom in the mornin' after playin' hooky!" said Tom's Aunt Polly, "Then I woke up and found him gone! Oh! The last time I saw him was to scold him for feeding the cat painkiller!"
But here's the real question. Today, a neighborhood raft was found five miles down our town. Does this mean the boys drowned? Personally, I think that vulgar boy Huckleberry has kidnapped Tom and Joe, and planted the raft as evidence.
Contact Aunt Polly at 495 Hampshire Rd. if you know anything about these boys.
Mark Twain Interview
Three Must Know Questions About Mark Twain's Newest Novel!
Reporter: Gene Lee
Q: Mr. Twain, in your new book, I enjoyed your allusion to Robin Hood when the boys were playing games on the island. Why did you choose that particular allusion?
A: "I used this allusion because I wanted to show how wild the boys were, yet good at heart, like Robin Hood and his gang. The boys are always going rogue, yet they worry and care for their parents."
Q: Mr. Twain, some people feel that Tom's disregard of religion is offensive. What do you say to that?
A: "Well, first I must point out that Tom is a boy. Most people at his age were as skeptical of religion as he is. Most children are not pious, dutiful religious from a young age. And, now, I must say my piece. If you don't like it, I say don't read it. It's simple."
Q: Mr. Twain, it is a well-known fact, and one that you have broadcasted widely, that you have based your character Tom off of yourself. Were you as rebellious as Tom was?
A: "Well, sure I was. Tom is me. I am Tom! Plain and simple. Of course - now, this is a secret! - I exaggerated about Tom's antics. I wasn't THAT wild. I also didn't experience the fantastical adventures that he did. However, I did have the characteristics that Tom has."
Q: Well, thank you for your time!
A: "No problem! Thank YOU for your time!"
Well that just about wraps it up! This is Gene Lee reporting from the hometown of Mark Twain (a.k.a Samuel Clemens) - Hannibal, Missouri. Check out Mark Twain's newest book, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, at your local library or book dealer!