The Most Extreme Birds

Don't get these birds!

The Birds

Paint a picture of the most perfect bird. It’s really cute, you can hold it in your hand, and it has the most amazing colors. As you hold it, you think to yourself, “Aww, I’m glad all birds are like this!” WRONG! The crested auklet, the shoebill, and the southern cassowary would not be ideal birds to own as pets. They stink, don’t do anything at all, and even kill! That’s right! Listen up and listen well because there’s more.

The Most Deadly Bird

The most deadly pet you can have is the southern cassowary. “As tall as an average person, they weigh up to 130 pounds, can run at 30 mph and, according to some reports, can jump 5ft into the air.”(pg. 18) It has 5in claws that can easily disembowel someone. This bird would make a bad pet for sure!

The Smelliest Bird

You might want an oxygen mask to get near the crested auklet. This bird smells like tangerines or too much Lysol. “Visitors approaching by boat have been known to detect an auklet colony from as far away as 6 miles.” (pg.28) I’m sure you don’t have oxygen masks at home, so don’t have this bird at home.

The Most Patient Bird

Waiting for the shoebill is like waiting for a broken down elevator to start back up. They stand “motionless for half an hour or more.”(pg. 109) When you feed it (if you feed it), just lay its food down, because it would wait 30 minutes to eat. To play with this bird you’d have to be as patient as it is.

So now do you want these birds? I don’t think so. The southern cassowary, crested auklet, and the shoebill are probably too much to handle and therefore are bad pets.