Local News Update
I’ve Been Meaning to Talk to You For Awhile Now…
Ever have someone say those words to you? I know my heart just sinks when a boss or loved one says that to me. Having tough conversations with interns is one of the aspects of mentoring that’s not enjoyable. Yet, they are crucial if you expect to sharpen and mold your student-professional into a colleague.
In our office (and in my home) we live in what I like to call a “24 –hour period.” Meaning, if confrontation is needed, it happens immediately. There is something liberating, almost refreshing, in getting things done expediently. It takes an extreme amount of energy to harbor negative thoughts. Let me give you an example. You are working with two patients, a mom and her 4 year old daughter. After taking an updated history, you put the mom on the chiropractic table, engage in some small talk, and begin to check her spine. Your intern is standing close by, observing. You say to the mom, “So, are we checking your daughter today also?” “Yes, she replies.” Your intern immediately retorts “Oh, man, I am PETRIFIED to adjust children.”
What would you do at this point? How would you handle this situation?
This is a difficult conversation that needs to be handled immediately. Why? If you don’t have the conversation, you run the risk of losing not only the mom but also the daughter. Because when the INTERN says she’s afraid to adjust them, then maybe they should be afraid to get adjusted also. You also need to address the student making an unprofessional comment.
Yes, this happened to me in 2000. I engaged in some very quick reparative sentences as I made the “guillotine sign” across my neck while mom was face down on the table. Later in my office, as soon as we had a break, the conversation went like this:
I said, “Do you have any idea what you said in the treatment room to Mrs. Jones? Do you know why I gave you the guillotine sign?”
The intern replied, “No?”
“You told her you were petrified to adjust children.”
“YOU’RE KIDDING ME?!?!? Oh, my goodness. I didn’t even realize I said that. I’m so embarrassed.”
“Let’s talk about this. I can help you get over your fear of adjusting children.”
It was a great teaching moment. I was blissfully happy that I had the conversation the day it happened, instead of the next day we were together, or the next week, or the next time we had the doctor-intern midterm meeting. Why? Because it would have been disastrous on all fronts; and in our office, my biggest concern is always for the person I am mentoring.
As I indicated at the beginning of this article, there is nothing more disheartening than hearing these words, “I have been meaning to talk to you for awhile now…” Your heart just sinks when you realize your mentor (significant other or parent) has possibly harbored ill feelings/thoughts about you for a time period greater than a day. Maybe something they have been ruminating over. Maybe something that has distracted them so much with respect to your behavior that they have now begun to have ill-feelings towards you. In our office, you will always be confronted the same day wherever humanly possible. Why? So it benefits both the doctor (so we are not distracted by the situation and negative energy that is attached to it) as well as the intern (so that the intern can immediately grow in a particular area.)
Fast forward one week later in our office: A different patient is in with her 2 month old infant. The intern announces, “I am absolutely terrified to adjust newborns. After the guillotine sign (which she now “gets,”) as