Woodland News

Published By: Landen Bruening 12-5-2228 in Forney, TX $1.50

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Advice Column

Hi, Landen my name is Sam Wilson and we have had a little problem avoiding Government agencies and their Satellites from detecting us. So far we have been successful at avoiding them but its getting more difficult and they are beginning to figure out how we have been avoiding them. Any tips?


Dear, Sam Wilson the only advice i can even begin to think to offer is change cars frequently, get a decal on some, steal other cars license plates, make a diversion somehow on a timer so you can get farther away, plant false steps, perhaps even take a hostage. -Landen

Weekly movie review

Coming to theaters this Friday....Brain jack.... Set 213 years in the future, society has almost completely fallen to the addiction of video games and the technology of 1st person immersion. Along the way comes a device that is called a Neuro Headset that goes on your head completely taking away all your senses as you play. (guess your going to miss out on grandma's cookies.) Delve into Sam Wilson's life as he hacks a big company to get things for free, goes to a job interview without knowing, is imprisoned, breaks out and runs from the government. Along the way you will meet his friends Vienna, and Dodge who help him run from the government by stealing various things and only pay for one thing the entire movie. (i'm serious) Directed by Brian Falkner, comes Brain Jack. coming to theaters 12-7-2228

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Featured events

This week we will be talking about how Sam, Dodge, and Vienna were almost crushed by a plane that was taken over by an unknown cause, but first here are some facts about the the people were interviewing.


Sam- Has black hair, always looks grumpy or determined (no one can decide) and is very smart about computer systems give him anything and he can hack it. He grew up in a poor family and found himself working at a computer parts warehouse where he would salvage broken components and make them work again eventually building his own computer,


Dodge- is the one who recruited Sam into the CDD and helped him on his journey to destroy the sentient internet being they named Ursula. During this while looking for a trace of the intruders Dodge is attacked and his brain gets fried. Ursula then issues a warrant for Dodge's and Sam's arrest. While they escape they run into Vienna who is not affected by Ursula and they take her on their journey.

Help Needed

Help Wanted! i'm in need of someone to chaperone me across state and to keep me away from the Neuro Headset infected people. If you are interested call 222-222-2332.

Walkie Talkies

You know whats crazy? the zombie apocalypse! you know whats even crazier? being listened to on the phone by the government! buy a pair of walkie talkies that is pre set to a secure channel! with our walkie talkie the government will never know what your doing! especially since half the world is infected by the neuro headset virus!

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