Local Man Publicly Shouts Blasphemy
What did this crazy man say?
Local farmer, John Proctor, shouts blasphemous statements today in front of a large crowd of Salemites. He followed a large crowd of girls into the swamp and shouted "I say- I say- God is dead!", followed by many other hysterical things. This event occurred around noon just the other day and was viewed by many people.
Why did he commit this act of blasphemy?
Mr. Proctor's reasons for committing this atrocity remain unknown, though many believe that he is under the influence of Satan himself. How could a man get away with saying such a thing, you might ask? Fear not, Mr. Proctor's crime will not go unpunished. Many fervently believe that he be hanged, and it looks as if he will.
Jordan Purser
Journalist