Local Girl Morphs Into Potato
You won't believe this strange scientific wonder!
In our lovely state, Pennsylvania, a local teenager has slowly been turning into a potato. Brittany Smitherson, age 14, has slowly been turning into a potato. "Potatoes taste very good. But now that I'm turning into one, they aren't as tasty!" We believe this is because potatoes have advanced so far, they are turning humans into them, so we no longer eat them!
This strange symbiotic relationship is currently being investigated. They are not sure if it is parasitic, as in the potato is consuming the poor girl, or if it is mutualism, where the potato and the girl live in harmony. The girl's social life, however, has been ruined, as no one wants to hang out with a potato.