Dear Gabby's Love Column
Helping people since the STONE ages! (Stone Giles)
I have read your column for years, but I never thought that I would be writing to you. I've tried going to meetings of "women who love too much but I'm still hurting, so I thought maybe you could help me. My problem is that the guy I love doesn't want to be in the same room as me, in fact, he hates my guts! He is also in love with my best friend! But my best friend's boyfriend just told me he was in love with me! But is he joking, or should I believe him?
I am so very sorry that your love hates your guts, and that he loves your best friend. And your best friend's boyfriend loves you? Wow.
You do have a choice to go out with Lysander. I think you should hang around with him to see if he isn't lying, and if he does love you, you could go out with him. Then it will make yours and Demetrius' life better. But you would have to think about your best friend because she would be heartbroken. But it's your choice.
But wait, I have another choice, and it is a better one. I have a magic flower, that if you put it on Demetrius' head when he's asleep, whatever he looks at when he wakes up, he falls in love with: bears, gorillas, Hermia... So you just have to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up. But don't let him look at something or someone else, or else he will love them.
So, I would advise you to go with choice two. I hope it works out for you. Good luck with Demetrius.