The Life of Bunburying
BROUGHT TO YOU BY BUNBURY_INC.
What is Bunburying?
Have you ever waned to change something major about your life? How about where you live, your name, or even your personality? Well, Bunburying is a way to change those things about you. The best thing about this, is nothing is permanent! If you chose to Bunbury, you are deciding to live a second live, like an alter ego. Think of it as being Hannah Montana and keeping her pop star life a secret.
How Would a Second Life Benefit Me?
Well, imagine this: Your sitting in your country home, unhappy with how uneventful your life is. This is where Bunburying comes in. Say you have a 'sister' named Samantha, you can make up a story for why you have to go into the city and care for her. Or you could say that you need some sister time, or anything of the sort. This gets you out of boredom, doing things, and some responsibilities.
Step One: Preparation
To pull of a great Bunbury, one needs to prepare for all situations and create your fantastic lie; the biggest lie of lies.
- MAKE A NEW IDENTITY~~ For your new identity, make sure you have a reasonable person in mind, a brother, sister, cousin or anyone that would seem obvious to someone that you need to help or visit often.
- CHOSE A HOME CITY~~ For your new identity, we'll use the name Bob, you will need to chose a city or state in which Bob will live. You should chose a place where you would like to get away to, but you can reach without going far or spending more money than you can.
Step Two: The Story
Now that we have made a lovely Bunbury named Bob, and you have chosen a city or state or even place that is in easy access to you for our lovely Bob to live in, we now need to make a story for Bob to live by.
- STORY TIME~~ For example: Let's say that Bob is my old friend from high school. Let's also say that Bob is working about 3 jobs because he is a single dad of 2 kids.
- Oh no! My work crew wants to schedule a meeting on a Saturday, what do I do? You pull your very clever story into the decision, like so: "I'm sorry, but I won't be able to attend that meeting because my friend Bob is very dependent of my watching over his lovely children on that very day, please let that be known. In fact, I need to watch them now, goodbye."
Well, now you have it, an amazing story to get out of Saturday meeting!
STEP THREE: MICRO-MANAGING
Now that we have come up with a new identity and a story for our great Bunbury, we need to micro-manage every step you take so that nothing can go wrong. Here are just some ideas to help manage your daily events:
- Use a calendar to know what personality you need daily
- Daily planner to track personalities and events/ steps taken for every day
- Maybe a 'diary' to know what events are planned without being suspicious
Great! So, What Could Go Wrong?
Very few things could go wrong, and they won't be the end of the world. To cool your nerves, none of the following have ever been reported for going wrong:
- Wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, brother, sister, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, boss or co-worker finding out
- Being disowned by your family
- Suddenly being single/ spouse wanting a divorce
- Being fired by your boss
- Suddenly being admitted into mental hospital
Ernest John Worthing
Jack Worthing in the country,
Ernest, Jack's brother, in the city.
Hannah Montana
High school student by day,
Pop star in a wig by night.
Algernon Moncrieff
Algernon when life is fun,
Bunbury's care taker when boring things come along.
YOU'RE ALL SET! GOOD LUCK ON YOUR BUNBURYING ADVENTURES! CONTACT US WITH ANY QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, OR CONCERNS.
note: results may vary.
Bunbury_inc.
Email: Bunbury_inc@gmail.com
Website: Bunbury_inc.com
Location: 1239 Bunbury Lane, Salt Lake City, UT, United States
Phone: (999)999-9999
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