Come To Mars

Children may come, but are not welcome

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We have the Tallest mountain in the solar system

We may not have oxygen here but we have state of the art astronaut suits so you and your family can run and play in the maybe flowing water possibly.

We also have:


  • A dead rover that we are still trying to find
  • flowing water maybe we think probably
  • a heated pool
  • a planned Whole Foods
  • astronauts
  • It's also -87 to -5C, but we have the best possible heating systems to keep you warm and toasty like toast
  • we also have the latest and greatest GPS systems to help you navigate all over the resort and planet
  • we also have a children's play area on Mars's smallest moon Deimos

The next flight to Mars is leaving soon So buy your pass NOW!!!!!!

The flight to Mars only takes a quick 3 months, but we have state of the art Hibernation Chambers ( cryogenic freezers) to make the flight feel like 5 seconds, we also have accommodations for people with disabilities, annoying children, annoying adults, and old people.

Come to Mars today Starting at $1999.99

Single Pass (1 person) $1999.99 http://ticketmaster.com/mars

Family Pass (4 people) $3000.00 http://ticketmaster.com/mars

Party Pass (20 people) $3720.00 http://ticketmaster.com/mars

School Trip (negotiable) $1000.00 http://ticketmaster.com/mars

Legal information

Visit Mars Inc. is not liable for any deaths or accidents on Mars or at the Visit mars now Resort, nor is the resort responsible for any stolen tickets/passes


signed - Mr. Lawyer

We have a wide arrangement of activities you can take part in such as

  • swimming
  • exploring
  • sleeping
  • breathing
  • walking
  • existing
  • living
  • dying
  • fun-having
  • laughing
  • enjoying
  • funerals
  • prison camp
  • birthing rituals
  • marriges