How to break up with Great Britain.

A rewrite of the Deceleration of Independence

1.

  1. We are equal and there are rights you can not take away from us.

2.

Because your acting like a douche, I'm breaking up with you. You and me are on equal standards.
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3.

You and me have equal rights. It was your job to protect them.
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4.

Since you did not protect our rights, we have the right to take you down!
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(Only if you want to read the "actual" Declaration of Independence.)