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Parenting 101

Factors that influence parenting

There are many factors that can infulence how mothers and fathers raise their children such as social, economic, their family structure, cultural views, and the parenting style they chose to use.


Social

Social factors such as financial, social class, family upbringing, race and cultural beliefs effect how parents raise their children. Every parenting decision a family makes is based on these social factors, from who is going to take care of the children to how the children are going to be brought up.


Economic

The economics influence the factor where the child grow ups. Children that grow up in poverty are at a higher risk for academic failure, social difficulties, and behavioural challenges. These risk factors are usually from poor educational resources and not having the strongest support system. However, some parents who suffer from a disease or poverty before might have less education than other parents and therefore, effecting their parenting style.


Family Structure

Family structure of a family is crucial in their upbringing. If the mother is single with more than one child she might have to rely on her older child to provide some care-giving duties for the younger children. This most probably would not be necessary for a couple or for a family in which there is a caregiver such as the mother's or the father's relative to help them. Some families might chose a traditional structure, where the mother is the primary caregiver while in other families, the mother and father might agree to share parenting responsibilities equally.


Cultural Views

A child's freedom and responsibility is based on the family's culture. Their cultural views also play a significant role in the way they chose to discipline their children.

Parenting Styles

Cultural and social class could also effect the how the child is raised but its usually based on a parent's individual preferences, personality and choice of parenting style the parent decides to use.


Authoritarian Style

Some parents believe in an authoritarian style of parenting, where the child is expected to follow the parents orders without questioning them.


Permissive Style

On the opposite end are permissive parents, who set less boundaries and rules for their children allowing them more freedom.


Authoritative Style

In-between these two parenting styles are authoritative parents, who set out clear rules for their child but also encourage discussion and make sure their children have good insight.

Wrong Reasons to Have a Child

If you are going to start a family, it should be because you and your partner want to, not because you've been influenced by outside factors. This may result in a certain amount of regret and guilt. Some wrong reasons to have a child are if your partner pressures you, to avoid loneliness, to save a relationship, and in order to receive some sort of commitment from their partner.


Partner Pressure

Either one of the partners might be more keen to having a child while the other other is uncertain about children or not ready yet, but you should not try to persuade them. Also, never be tempted to have an "accident" because a child should be wanted by both parents.


Avoiding Loneliness

Some children are created in attempt to avoid loneliness. Parents fail to realize that one day they will grow up and won't be with you forever. They'll have to live their own lives as adults, and should not be used to fill an emptiness of love in your life.


Saving a Relationship "Band-aid Babies"

Having a baby just to save a relationship won't save it. If a relationship is not working out adding a baby to the picture won't make things better. If you and your partner are not able to resolve the problems the solution is not to have a baby because maybe its best that the relationship just ends.


Commitment

If your partner is not showing any signs of commitment then parenthood will not magically change that. It will most probably make him run away from you even more, so either working it out or ending it would be better because you can always find someone else that would want children.

How to Develop Parenting Skills

Learn as you go

Learning how to raise your child will not happen overnight. You learn as you go. Everyone makes mistakes, so messing up a few times will just give you experience and prevent you from making the same mistakes over again.


Be a model

Be the main role model for your children because our children look up to us first and foremost. Act in manner that you expect your children to behave and be their mirrors.


Provide Guidance

You should always be there for your children, no matter what. Acknowledging them and their lives if the most important thing. Guide them in the right direction as they will look up to you and you can help them learn and grow.


Be involved

Enrolling your children into activities or things they like makes them feel valued. Be interested in their interests, no matter how small you may think it is.