Carter Lomax Middle School
Dates to Remember
11/12-11/16 College Week
11/14 Career Day
11/15 Carter Lomax Spelling Bee
11/19-11/23 Thanksgiving Break
11/27 Evening with the Arts
11/30 Club Day
Mrs. Kaatz Takes Over
Can Do Food Drive Results
Veteran's Day- Red, White and Blue!
Weekly Parent Connect
Coaching Children in the Five-Step Process of Self-Regulation
“I had it first.” “I hate you.” “This is stupid.” “You can’t make me.” “No, no, no!” Children’s emotional outbursts encompass a variety of outward behaviors from pushing and shoving to name-calling and exclusion. They also are expressed inwardly through withdrawal, perfectionism and sulking. How we respond to children’s emotions will either inhibit or encourage the emergence of their self-regulation skills. Coaching children from unconsciously reacting to their emotions to consciously responding to their emotions requires the same five-step process adults experience. Here is an overview of the child’s process. As you read allow your mind to notice the similarities between the adult’s journey and the child’s.
The child is triggered. There could be 15 red markers on the table but Jacob wants that one. His focus narrow and he excludes all additional incoming information. This trigger period could last a few seconds or 2 hours. To help the child move to step two we must remain calm.
Breathe and Notice. The goal is to help Jacob create a momentary pause between being lost in his emotion (I am) and acting out. To help Jacob create a pause, we encourage him to take 3 deep breaths. We also notice and describe his nonverbal emotional signals. Noticing brings Jacob’s awareness to his body, thus beginning the process of separating his identity from the emotion.
Naming the Feeling. Jacob may be able to identify feelings in a picture, but he may have a difficult time identifying what his is feeling while he is upset. Our job in this step is help Jacob discover his feelings while in an upset state. When we help Jacob accurately name the emotion, the feeling becomes manageable and the integration process can begin.
Accept and Reframe. We help Jacob accept and befriend the feeling in order to change it. With acceptance, the integrative process naturally provides Jacob with the willingness to change his feeling state and learn from his original trigger. Changing the feeling state from upset to calm is essential for rejoining the class or family in a healthy, respectful way.
Solutions. You did it! You coached Jacob through the first four self-regulatory steps necessary to create a pause between impulse and action. Now that Jacob is calm, we can teach him a new skill or a new perception to wanting only that marker.
*This discussion is based on Becky Bailey’s new book: Managing Emotional Mayhem and adapted from Larry Slocum’s School Family Minute.
Parent coordinator/5th grade counselor,
6th grade counselor/bilingual
You will be receiving an email from Summit Learning inviting you to login to the platform and see your student's information. Having your own Parent Connect account allows you to view your child's goals for the week, current grades, and dues dates for Focus Areas, Projects, and Concept Units.
When you receive the email from Summit Learning, you will only need to follow the link, watch the video, and create your own password for the account. If you do not receive an email, contact your child's homeroom teacher.