The Journey by Mary Oliver
"The voices around you kept shouting"
I think shouting expresses the fact the voices were negatively affecting that person. If you used speaking or whispering, I think it wouldn’t make you realize the effects.
“Began to tremble”
Tremble is used more to show fear or anger rather than shaking could show coldness, too.
“Through the wind pried with its stiff fingers”
The wind wasn’t a calm wind.
“Though their melancholy was terrible”
Melancholy would be a better example because it doesn’t mean just one thing. Sad, or mad would show only, melancholy has a greater variety for you to choose from, or think about.
“It was already late enough, and a wild night”
They basically wanted it to end.
“And the road full of fallen branches and stones”
It’s telling us their past wasn’t the greatest.
“The stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds”
“There was a nice new voice that you began to recognize as your own”
They are beginning to tell themselves how to live, not allow depression or sadness rule them.
“Determined to do the only thing you could do”
They weren’t holding themselves back anymore.
“Determined to save the only life you could save”
Only you can save yourself, and this person wanted to do it.