Chewy Civil War Cookies

The most violent, sad, and disturbing recipe!

Ingredients For Your Chewy Civil War Cookies

  • 8 pounds of Slaves
  • 1 cups of President Lincoln
  • 3/4 cups of Kansas Nebraska Act
  • 1 cup of Dred Scott's Supreme Court Case
  • A tablespoon of Stephen Douglas
  • A tablespoon of Jefferson Davis
  • A tablespoon of John Brown
  • Half a cup of Uncle Tin's Cabin
  • 620,000 dead bodies
  • 2 cups of Election of 1860
  • One of pound Confedreate Troops
  • A pinch of Fort Sumter
  • A pinch of Missouri Compromise

Directions To Make Your Chewy Civil War Cookies:

  1. First you will need 8 pounds of hardworking slaves. It is recommended to use African-Americans. (You might need to bring them from Africa to the colonies). This ingredient is very important to this recipe. Pound the hardworking slaves in a pot and let is sit while you throw the rest of the ingredients together (make sure the slaves are working nice and hard and are treat horribly).
  2. In another dish poor in a cup of Uncle Tom's Cabin. This ingredient is important because the book is suppose to attract people and make them understand Slavery was a moral issue, not politically.
  3. In the same, dish pour in a tablespoon of Stephen Douglas. He is the one of the men who run against Abraham Lincoln and who thought Slavery should be decided by voting.
  4. In the same dish, add 3/4 cups of Kansas Nebraska Act. In the Kansas Nebraska Act, Northerners were outraged because of the decision Stephen made (to decide slavery by voting). They were also outraged because it repealed the Missouri Compromise (at this time add your pinch of Missouri Compromise).
  5. In the same dish, add 1 cup of Dred Scott Supreme Court Case. This court case is important because Congress could not do anything about it because they did not have the power and because Dred was property, not a person/citizen. Also add a table spoon of John Brown. John Brown was a man who invaded Harper's Ferry. Now mix the ingredients very well in the bowl with a mixer.
  6. In a different bowl, pour in one cup of Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln is important part of this recipe is because he is a main reason the Civil war even happened. He wants to helps Slaves because he felt that they were people not property. So, if you want a good Civil war cookie, you need Honest Abe!
  7. In the same bowl, add two cups of The Election Of 1860. This election decided who would be president. The new president was Abraham Lincoln. Also pour a tablespoon of Jefferson Davis (the president of the confederacy), a pinch of confederate troops, and a pinch of Fort Sumter. Fort Sumter was the first battle fought in the Civil War.
  8. Now, mix all the ingredients in the bowl very well. On a baking tray spread butter all around and place the batter mix on the tray. Depending on size, the cookies should bake to 8-20 minutes on a 350 degrees fahrenheit. You can cook for more or less depending on size/shape.
  9. After you bake the cookies, let them cool and you will have your Civil war and 620,000 deaths in no time!