By: Jaskarn Duhra
Pig Burglars Get Hogged
1792 B.C. – An attempted robbery took place involving 2 men, identified as Abraham and Ambrose. Abraham and Ambrose had attempted to steal the pig of Judge Papias. The pig however was an identified breed but was very aggressive, this prompted Abraham and Ambrose to run away from the crime scene but a few hours later the men came back to steal Papias’ pig which at the time was asleep. “I was scared” said Papias, “I thought those men wanted my Shekels but instead they wanted my pig? What fools! I want them prosecuted!”
“The Trial of AA” as they call it, will take place once a properly-licensed judge is off their vacation. Once this goes into court, Abraham and Ambrose will most likely be sentenced to death under section eight of the Code of Hammurabi: “If any one steal cattle or sheep, or an ass, or a pig or a goat, if it belong to a god or to the court, the thief shall pay thirtyfold therefor; if they belonged to a freed man of the king he shall pay tenfold; if the thief has nothing with which to pay he shall be put to death.” ("The Code of Hammurabi") .
The Verdict of Death
1769 B.C. – IT IS FINALLY OVER! The trial of the Quintus-kidnapping is over. A two year trial which involved minor- Quintus being kidnapped by a man named “Gaius Julius Caesar” is finally over with Caesar getting the death penalty. The men whom represented Caesar had said Quintus attacked Caesar with a butter-knife; Caesar did however have a few minor cuts on his shoulders. Quintus was shocked by Caesar’s defense saying “WHAT?! I didn’t intend to attack you with a knife, up until you laid your hands upon my throat.” Quintus’ comments had left the whole court room in silence, reaching the verdict of the death penalty towards Caesar under section 14 of the Code of Hammurabi: If any one steal the minor son of another, he shall be put to death” ("The Code of Hammurabi").
Slaves Must Respect Masters
1765 B.C. – Slaves better respect their master because there’s a new law in town! That’s right, a new law under section 282 says “If a slave say to his master: ‘You are not my master,’ if they convict him his master shall cut off his ear” ("The Code of Hammurabi") . A lot of slave masters have been fed up with Hammurabi not having a law about the respect the master gets from their slave. Well, this law should help.
Hammurabi took to consideration all of the masters requests and decided to talk with the other Kings about this new law. “This law affects the citizens with the most and least amount of Shekels.” Hammurabi said, “We must make this law now!” Hammurabi added. An anonymous vote between the Kings was taken and 10-1 was in favour of this new law. One anonymous King said “This cannot be a law; they can’t ‘legally’ beat their slaves! This is foolish!” This law has been passed and will come be effective at the start of 1764.
Fool Challenging Hammurabi's Laws
1762 B.C. – Is he serious? A man by the name of Flavius is trying to battle the law because he states he “accidentally” broke a foreigner’s bone. Under section 197 of the Code of Hammurabi it states “If he break another man’s bone, his bone shall be broken.” ("The Code of Hammurabi"). Flavius suggested this law should be altered because of his recent incident. Flavius was allegedly playing tug of war with his two sons when his sons decided to let go. Without knowing the foreigner was behind Flavius, Flavius hit the foreigner’s index finger with his elbow. The actions of his sons broke the foreigner’s finger.
Flavius has proposed Hammurabi with a change, but Hammurabi suggests the law he created is “fine”. As of right now, Flavius will have his index finger broken unless Hammurabi or one of the Kings says something different. “Living under a condition of not mattering if it was on purpose or accidental is bogus,” said Flavius. “If I do get my finger broken, this will affect the ability for me to provide for my family.” Flavius added.
Babylon Empire Slave Vanishes
1750 B.C. - One of the slaves in the Babylon Empire has gone missing. An unidentified male slave has called it quits and somehow left the Empire without being seen. The slave left a note in his shack saying “I am no longer your slave. You are not my Master. I am leaving this stupid Babylon Empire and having my own family. I am sick and tired of being told what to do for little Shekels. Goodbye ‘Master’,” signed by Anonymous. Hammurabi himself denied commenting on this but sources close to Hammurabi say he is very angry at the security in the Empire for not seeing him leave.
This unidentified slave is in breach of multiple laws passed by Hammurabi if caught in someone else’s home including Sections 15, 16, 17 and 19 but as of now the slave is in breach of the recently new law which was passed in 1765 B.C. under Section 282 - If a slave say to his master: “You are not my master,” if they convict him his master shall cut off his ear ("The Code of Hammurabi") .