Three Blind Mice v. Mrs. Farmer
Mrs. Farmer Charged with Assault
February 23, 2014.
It was a quiet day on the farm. Mr. Farmer was out in the fields, preparing for the spring planting. Mrs. Farmer, however, was working on her carving whilst the Macaroni and cheese was cooking on the stove. She heard the beeping of the stove go off and she went to go check on the macaroni. She grabbed the cheese and was about to put it in the macaroni when she heard a strange noise outside. She rushed outside to see what it was, and there were three mice looking straight at her. She ran around the porch trying to escape the mice, but to no avail. Finally, Mrs. Farmer had enough, so she grabbed her carving knife and swung.
See how they run. See how they run.
February 25, 2014
Mr. Farmer could not believe it. He saw what had happened, but didn't expect the mice to call the police! Now his wife was placed under arrest and cannot leave unless the high price of a bail was paid, which they could in no way afford. Apparently, she had been charged with aggravated assault, which was a felony. Earlier that day, he asked her if Plea Bargaining would be a good option, but she refused to take any credit for what had went on, saying it was merely self defense. She said the same thing during the Arraignment, after an indictment was agreed upon by the Grand Jury. They told us that the trial would take place on April 2, 2014
They all ran after the Farmer's Wife, who cut off their tails with a carving knife.
April 2, 2014
Finally, after over a month, the court case was being held, and their so called "public defender" seemed to be doing no defending what so ever. Mr. Farmer, who was up of the Witness stand being cross-examined by the prosecution after being subpoenaed to court, was worried about their terrible trial. He was sure that the Petit Jury was not going to vote in their favor. especially after Mrs. Farmer accused the mice of Perjury when they stated they were blind. Finally, after many questions from the prosecution, he got to sit back down just as the prosecution started their closing statement.
"Mrs. Farmer has committed a crime. She had tried to severely hurt and possibly even kill three innocent mice. We all need food, and that was all these mice were trying to do. They are just mice that were looking for food, blind mice at that. The defendant had no right to attack those mice, not even in self defence, as the mice were giving no signs of harming of attacking anyone. Why should these peaceful mice be punished? I'll tell you, they shouldn't, but the Defendant should. She had caused these mice something that they cannot get back, and something should be done about it."
The judge then told the defendant to give their closing statement, so our public defendant stood up.
"When the mice can running toward Mrs. Farmer, she was frightened for her own sake. Out of natural response, she grabbed the knife and tried to attack the mice, but merely out of self defense. There was no way she could have known by looking at the mice that they were just blind mice looking for food, all she saw was these three mice running after her. The attacks were merely in self defense, and charging someone for protecting themselves is wrong. Mrs. Farmer is not guilty."
Have you ever seen such a sight in your life as three blind mice?
May 16, 2014
Mrs. Farmer has been in jail for about a month now. She only has four years and eleven months left. The Verdict came back, and she was convicted.