Intros and Conclusions
Introductions: Hook Your Reader
I wrote this originally for the Encounters' Challenge of the Mind research paper. I've edited it now to broadly address introductions for any essay.
The introduction of your essay needs to be VERY interesting. If it doesn't do what it's supposed to do, you'll lose your reader. And if your reader is going to assign a grade, you really don't want that to happen.
You should already know about Hooks/Leads, Transitions, and Thesis Statements/ Claims.
Types of Hooks Most Suited for Our Papers: Don't lead with your thesis.
- Startling Statistic - Great for the Encounters 8 project: Only 10-15 vaquita remain in the world making it the "most endangered marine mammal" in the world ( Vaquita).
- A Quote - Here, I don't mean a quoted passage, but something someone actually said, thus making it good for the Encounters 7 project: "We [the Dodge brothers] were the poorest little urchins ever born. We're brothers and we always work together... If you haven't got room for two of us, neither of us will start (Hyde).
- Rhetorical Questions - Normally, I steer students away from these, but you're GT, read #4.
- An Interesting Fact or Statement - Rhetorical questions are designed to make the reader think, so try combing a question with an interesting fact: Wouldn't it be great if you didn't have to go to school? Well, during the Middle Ages only the very wealthy got a formal education. Everyone else learned what they knew from their parents and community (Nelson).
- A General Statement - This is a broad connection to the topic like we discuss in ThinkTANK and ThinkCERCA. For the research paper, #1-4 work best, but look at the two links below for more ideas.
Here's a great page with more examples of hooks.
Here's another.
Works Cited
Hyde, Charles K. The Dodge Brothers: The Men, the Motor Cars, and the Legacy. Wayne State UP, 2005, 15.
Nelson, Ken. "Middle Ages for Kids: Daily Life," Ducksters, Technological Solutions, Inc. (TSI), https://www.ducksters.com/history/middle_ages/daily_life_in_the_middle_ages.php.
"Vaquita, the World's Most Endangered Marine Mammal." The Marine Mammal Center, 2020, www.marinemammalcenter.org/science/Working-with-Endangered-Species/vaquita.html
Thesis Statements
The key to an informative thesis is to ask yourself why the topic is interesting or important and answer in your thesis: Why do we care about the Middle Ages; What did the Dodge brothers do that changed the auto industry; What does it matter if the Vaquita goes extinct?
The Middle Ages was an amazing period in history.
By itself, that is pretty lame, so you might write
The Middle Ages was an amazing period in history because not only were there knights in shining armor, but there were dragons roaming the land.
The Dodge brothers were an "unstoppable, inseparable force" who transitioned from manufacturing bicycle parts to become the largest suppliers of car parts in the country to starting their own automobile company that became one of the U.S's "Big 3".
If the Vaquita porpoise is to survive then illegal fishing in the Gulf of California must be stopped.
Here's a student written introduction.
The Conclusion: Don't Leave Your Reader Hanging
(See - The sentence just stopped. Isn't that annoying?)
Once you craft the introduction and body of your essay, you may feel tempted to jot off a bland conclusion that does little more than restate your thesis.
In reality, your conclusion is your chance to expose the larger implication of your thesis... Take the time to write a conclusion that leaves a lasting impression. Develop and present your concluding thoughts in the form of a complete paragraph. ... Avoid introducing new information into your concluding paragraph. Instead, ... synthesize the information you have already presented in your essay and draw a conclusion based on what you now know.
Remind the reader of the central point of your thesis statement, but avoid restating your thesis word for word. Vary your language. ...
Consider your conclusion an opportunity ... to offer one final closing point. How is the information you presented relevant to you and your reader? What are the deeper implications of your thesis statement? What is the overall importance of your discussion?
Leave an impression.
Fisk, Judy. "How to Write a Conclusion for an Expository Essay." 13 Jun 2017, penandthepad.com/write-conclusion-expository-essay-8603432.html.
Everything you read about writing a conclusion is going to say the same thing:
- restate your thesis
- sum up your main points
- tell why the topic was important (or give a "call to action")
Restating your thesis doesn't mean to write it again, nor does it mean to rewrite and just "change a few words." When you wrote your thesis, you might have tried out a couple of different versions. One of those could go in your conclusion.
Thesis: The Middle Ages was an amazing period in history because not only were there knights in shining armor, but there were dragons roaming the land.
Restated: Dragons, knights, damsels in distress... More than peasants and poverty, the Middle Ages was a lively and interesting period in history.
Thesis: The Dodge brothers were an "unstoppable, inseparable force" who transitioned from manufacturing bicycle parts to become the largest suppliers of car parts in the country to starting their own automobile company that became one of the U.S's "Big 3".
Restated: From bicycles to the Big 3, the Dodge brothers made an indelible mark on the automobile industry.
Thesis: If the Vaquita porpoise is to survive then illegal fishing in the Gulf of California must be stopped.
Restated: The plight of the Vaquita and the fact that it will probably become extinct in our lifetime is a reminder and warning of what can happen if the caretakers of the planet are not doing their job.
Here's an example of a concluding paragraph from an essay about writing concluding paragraphs:
Essay conclusions are pretty simple once you know the framework. It all boils down to three main parts: a transition from the last body paragraph, a summary of the thesis statement and main points of the essay, and a closing statement that wraps everything up. If all students knew this simple formula, maybe essay writing would be easier for everyone.
Here's another about children and cell phones:
Although it's easy to see why allowing an elementary school child to have a cell phone would be convenient for after-school pickups or arranging playdates with friends, there is too much evidence to show that it's generally not a good idea. Children already have a lot of access to media (on average over seven hours per day) and it is the parent's responsibility to monitor their media access, which is more difficult if the child has exclusive cell phone access. Cyber bullying, which is increasingly becoming a problem, is also going to be a risk when your child has unlimited access to a smart phone. Clearly, elementary school-aged children are not emotionally mature enough to handle the responsibility of a smart phone, and the borrowing of a parent's cell phone should be highly monitored to ensure safe and healthful usage.
There's a lot to say about conclusions. I'll leave you with one link to read. After that, write yours, and I'll make suggestions after I read it.
Previous Newsletters
3/01/2020 Welcome
3/09/2020 Research: Introductions and Conclusions
3/14/2020 Planning Ahead
3/21/2020 4th Nine Weeks
3/28/2020 Fight the Boredom