Three Blind Mice & the Evil Woman
By: Krissy Cannady
The evil farmers wife, Mary, was arrested this past Monday for assaulting three, innocent, blind mice and cutting off their tails. Officer Squeaky proceeded to tell Mary her four rights. "You have the right to remain silent, the right to an attorney appointed by the court if necessary, the right to have an attorney present and the right to stop answering questions." Officer Squeaky exclaimed. After arriving at the police station, he grabbed Mary's fingers and took fingerprints. Following this act, he took the regular criminal photographs. Mary told him she was seeking indictment and wished to go before the Grand Jury. Not long after, Mary attended her arraignment. "Would the defendant please state his or her plea," the judge asked. To everyone's surprise, Mary made a plea bargain, admitting guilty so she could get a lesser sentence.
Mary's public defender, Mr. Cheezie, was scurrying to get his opening statement ready. The prosecution, on the other hand, was rather relaxed seeming that Mary had already plead herself guilty. The prosecution called their most eligible witness, who they subpoenaed, to the stand, Mr. Wolf. The petit jury hurriedly conversed to come up with an outcome. Their foreman, Mickey, announced "the jury has come up with a verdict: we convict Mrs. Mary for the felony of murderously chopping off the tails of three blind mice." They sentenced her a bail of $100 and planned on seeing her in a week for a sentencing. Oddly, Mrs. Mary was blank faced throughout the whole process and never appealed once.
A week later Mary never showed up. Everyone found this quite strange seeming she basically turned her own self in. They decided to send out a search only to find her tied up and scared. She told us it was the Wolf all along but he threatened to eat her all up if she said a word! Mr. Wolf had committed perjury! Hurriedly, they sent out a search party in time. Now he will pay the price.