Types of Parts: Exiles
In the Healing Room
Module Nine - 60 minutes
Exiles
Exiles are the most excruciatingly vulnerable, painful, terrified, powerless, rejected, abandoned, alone, ashamed, humiliated parts in the system. No one likes to feel what they feel. Our system will do almost anything to stop these feelings, avoid and prevent them.
We can become overwhelmed by them and totally absorbed by them. Attempt this module only after you feel confident in using all the tools of Modules 1-4.
Find cards 4A-B, 7A-C, & 8A-8D in the Self-Therapy Cards. These cards show key concepts in this module. Card 8A starts you off.
Reading About Exiles
In the same book, read pages 197-202; Uncovering Your Pain: Getting to Know an Exile.
Drawing a Picture of an Exile
Connecting with an Exile
See cards 7A,B, & C about how Protectors can initially block access to an Exile, and then grant access, so that Self can Witness and Reparent. See the separate module about Reparenting called Self-Nurturing a Child Part.
Let the Exile know this is a healing space and you are here with her or him. Let them know there are lots of resources and a healing process that you are learning. Pay attention to where you feel this Exile in your body, images it shows you, any thoughts or dialogue it shares.
Card 8B shows this stage.
Surrounding the Exile with Resources
Witnessing an Exile
Cards 4A and 4B show how Exiles can be triggered by current situations and how the Self can then engage the Exile in the healing process by Witnessing.
Retrieving an Exile
Card 8C shows this.
Unburdening an Exile
The part itself must be ready and not pushed into it by Managers wanting to get the job done. Sometimes a part may only be ready to release part of the burden.
The process is based in the neuroplasticity of the brain. A real change has been happening all along through the healing process by Self connecting with the Exile. It has been building toward this release, and the imagery and ritual of energetic release is a way for the mind-body system to initiate and complete this process.
Quite often, there are spontaneous unburdenings happen, because it is a natural process. Creating an image in your mind of the process can help. It can be as simple as burning the burdens in a fire or releasing them into the air. Some people bury them or drop them in the sea. Others imagine a healing light taking the burden away, or launching them into space. People have been very creative in the ways they have unburdened parts. It is up to you and your part what the best way will be.
This is shown on card 8D.
Chakras
Look in any of the books on Chakras and notice if your exile is connected with any of the chakras, based on where it is in your body or it's particular function or behavior. Use the chakra stones and Reiki healing approaches to support and heal this exile.
EFT
Do the module on EFT with your exile as the focus.
Take Your Time/Repeat
Journal and/or Draw What You Discover
Read On
Alternating Bilateral Stimulation
Remember, The Healing Room is set up with a stereo system that can provide audible Alternating Bilateral Stimulation (ABS) which is a component of EMDR therapy (Eye-Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing). The unique Alternating Bilateral Stimulation sample played continuously in The Healing Room is called Ocean Crossover and mimics ocean waves moving back and forth across the room at a gentle low volume in the background. It has a relaxing effect and supports the neural integration of new perspectives and healing of negatively charged memories, particularly when it is paired with specific tasks.
*Having the ABS playing at a volume loud enough to hear it, but low enough that it seems to fade into the background while you learn these skills, is optimal.
Approved Consultant in IFS & EMDR: individual and group consultation via Zoom.