The Importance of Gratitude
LISD Guidance and Counseling
Why is Gratitude Important?
- It can improve your sense of well-being
- It can improve relationships
- It can increase optimism
- It can lead to higher levels of happiness
- It can increase self-control
The 2 Stages of Gratitude
According to Dr. Robert Emmons, the feeling of gratitude involves two stages (2003):
- First comes the acknowledgment of goodness in one’s life. In a state of gratitude, we say yes to life. We affirm that all in all, life is good, and has elements that make it not just worth living, but rich in texture and detail. The acknowledgment that we have received something gratifies us, both by its presence and by the effort the giver put into choosing it.
- Second, gratitude is recognizing that some of the sources of this goodness lie outside the self. At this stage, the object of gratitude is other-directed; one can be grateful to other people, to animals, and to the world, but not to oneself. At this stage, we recognize not only the goodness in our lives, but who is to thank for it, and who has made sacrifices so that we could be happy.
The Purpose of Gratitude
People can use gratitude to form new social relations or to build upon and make current ones better.
Acts of gratitude can be used to apologize, make amends or help solve other problems people may face.
Alternatively, people may feel gracious because it can be an intrinsically rewarding process. Simply being grateful for being alive is a great way to motivate oneself to seize the day. The idea that tomorrow is not guaranteed is a strong motivator for some people.
Conversation Starters about Gratitude
Here are some tips to get the conversation started:
- What have you been given or what do you already have in your life that you are grateful for?
- Do you think you have more than you need, less than what you need, or exactly what you need?
- Are there gifts behind the material gifts for which you are grateful, like someone thinking about you and caring enough about you to get you a gift?
- Why do you think you received this gift?
- Can you remember a time when you received a gift you didn't deserve? How did that make you feel?
- Did you feel happy to get this gift? What does that feel like inside?
- Does the feeling of having this gift make you want to share that feeling by giving to someone else?
- What is the hardest thing you have learned how to do? Who helped you achieve that goal?
- Can you remember a time when you could've given someone a gift but didn't? Why?