My gender and persona

A teenaged African American girl with a heart of a champion.

Who are we?

I am a very head strong girl in spirit and in heart. People don't really understand why I am the way I am or why my mind works like an open book full of words on a page. I maybe a teenager but I don't always look like one or act like one. I take time out of every morning to carefully hand pick my clothes because I feel as ifIi were a model, who do I really want to make happy people or myself and I always choose my opinions over others. It used to seem so self ritcheous to me that dressing myself well was my top priority but then again fashion is the biggest part of me. I am a model and I take that to heart why not dress as if I were the most beautiful or why not take pictures as if I were posing for vogue. My daily schedule ranges daily I may ake jewelry, or I may decide to right a new song, maybe I would like to pick out a new outfit for tommorow yet I still could understand that It is me and it took me until now to see that.

In the play Twelfth night , the character Viola is seen is an independent young woman who rather work as a man to get a job then not work at all as a woman. Violia faces the challange of loosing her brother during a shipwreck. Her devine looks split equally when her manly appearance gets her a job as a servant for the Duke Orsino. Viola knows for a fact that her songs will be heard and enjoyed by the Duke Orsino, Viola knows that she is the splitting image of her brother and to dress up like a man would be like becoming Sebastion but Violia is also aware that her brother is not with her now and she hopes that death was not an option for him during the shipwreck. "For saying so, there’s gold.

Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope, Whereto thy speech serves for authority, The like of him. Know’st thou this country?"(I.ii.15-20) pg1.

Struggles of the independent females

How do you stay strong when you are a proportionate female who can't help how she looks? As a woman being built the way that I am caused alot of trouble at a young age for me. Being a busty female student all through 5th and 10th grade wasen't always a positive outlook. It was hard to make friends and I attracted twice as much attention as a grown woman with a full body would. At first I thought that I was as tiny as a stick but even though my stomach is tiny the mirror that i stare into dosen't lie, as I started to get older I hated the attention and things started to get worse the attention turned into harrassment. Alot of jobs involving a female role that I wanted to shoot for mostly requested caucasion woman who were petit and because of that my chances of getting a job were short to none. I have been looked upon since my bust is a little big and my hair is short I am not the image of the regualar everyday female. Even if I were to dress the way I do, nicely well put together, still because i'm a female and I walk with to much confidence I am automatically catgorized as a fake wannabe. As I look to God for help things have not always been a rollercoaster for the worst, I love knowing that I do have a nice shape and that my family is happy with not only the outside but the inside to.

Viola is a female that is more independently motivated to act on her own account. She chooses to dress as a man and play the part of Cesario just to work as a servant for the Duke Orsino. The benefits of this are mutual as Viola meets Duke Orsino and falls in love with him but as she goes on working for him she is well aware that another man could not capture the eye of Duke Orsino. She must keep her love sacred but soon she faces the downs of being a man. Not only could she not tell Orsino how she feels toward him but the woman that Orsino finds irresistable loves Viola (Cesario). Not only is she mixed up between being a man and a woman but she also faces the challanges a man would have to face at least a charming one would have to face. When another man challanges Ceasrio to a fight Viola is left afraid and hopeful that maybe her faith as a young man will become more clear over a man who is a warrior.

Twelfth Night: Or what you will - Part 4

What do they see in us?

It took me years to get over the fact that I was different when really, everyone is different in their own ways. The way that my family looks at me is phenominal, they tell me everyday that I am beautiful, They hold me up no matter how hard I fall and yell at me when I do wrong. The things that I expected my family to do they did but when I see my friends they tell me how their mothers and fathers don't treat them the same and everyday they have to lie to them just to feel secure. There could have been so much that I could have done. The people around me judge only off appearance, some people call me ugly, some people make fun of my shape, some people even think that I would be better off working in a store than as a model but I beg to differ. Confidence is my strongest strength and no second guess could make me think differently and that is what my peers hate about me. I have people who may agree with me at times but most of the times it feels like the world is against me. I am confident so very confident no matter the perception of others. Although the perception of me may not always be wonderful others including family members beg to differ. I love all the compliments I may get and I give out twice as many but most of all I love the peoplewho correct me when I may a mistake and speak against myself.

I believe that other characters in Twelfth night see Viola as a young charming man who is goodlooking but not brave or true to others. Some mostly Duke Orsino and Olivia view Viola as a charming young fellow who has girlish figures and a womans touch upon her. Olivia is in love with Viola's woman like heart and the Duke is intrigued by her ambision to get Olivia back and by her words as they are as woman like as a poem about flowers. But others view her off of jelousy and first sight like Sir Andrew, Sir Toby, and Fabian. "Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valor. Challange me the count's youth to fight with him"(III.ii.30-35). They feel that because of Olivia's love toward the messenger of the Duke Orsino that he should fight because he betrayed another man when really Viola is not the fighting type, she has no idea that her brother is still alive and because of Sebastion both of them are confused at the new challanges that they are facing. But on the other hand Viola views herself as noble her goal was to become successful as a man working for the Duke and to also work as a match maker for him, not only did she achieve that goal but her brother is still alive and peice by peice she is really starting to believe it.

The Lucky Ones (ft Rudy Currence)by Lecrae

Perception between Viola and I

A similarity between Violia and myself is we both seem to chase after one thing and that is so be a successfull female doing what most people would not do or woulden't think a female would accomplish. Both Viola and I are sisters of one brother and we cherish that one brother closer than anything in the whole world, are resemblences to our brothers are like a match made perfect and it is undeniable to say that we would stop at nothing to prove that they are alive and well. It may seem a bit odd sometimes but Viola struggles with being a man a gender I could never take on but like Viola sometimes i struggle with being a woman, not every job that is offered to us accepts females or not everyone will like you because how different you are but to Viola and I anything is possible even if you have to do something out of the ordinary.

A difference between Viola and I is the fact that I have not pursued a career dressing like a man to get a job especially since all the jobs that I have ever auditioned for were in the performing arts academy. Although it seems intriging to walk in anothers shoes for a day to get what you want I think being a woman is more than enough and I have to get comfortable as who I am. Lastly another difference between us would be the fact that I have never loved a man dressed as a man, a crush is one thing but love is another thing that I don't want to experience until I'm older and ready. Besides all of our physical differences if I were to play the part of Viola is a play I think I will play the part acceptionally well because it is a part that I play in my life.