Teenage Pregnancy


The Problem

Oh. My. God. Why are all of these teenage girls getting pregnant these days? Like do they not understand how ridiculous they look? These girls have to make super hard decisions and they are only teenagers. Literally the most important decision I make daily is what outfit to wear and what shoes to pair with it. Girls are not ready to be parents. We haven't even lived for twenty years. When we were little, we played with dolls. We swung them around by their arms, left them out in the pouring rain, and accidentally cut the dolls open while we were trying to cut their hair. There is no way that a girl my age can take care of a living, breathing, child when we are still so childish. Like I seriously do not think that these girls get it. Like they are so blind to the fact that their lives are going to change in the blink of an eye. All my pregnant friends are going to miss out on going to the club and partying all of the time. Sucks to be them that means more guys to dance with me. Seriously these girls need some help. Maybe if they had a serious consequence they would get it through their stupid brains.

The Proposal

Like the only solution to this problem involves way too many steps, but it's like the only way to truly fix this problem. These teenage girls who are getting pregnant are so unbelievably stupid. I think these girls should automatically have to keep the baby and be forced to take birth control injections for the rest of their lives. That way maybe, just maybe, these stupid girls will feel like crap when they are married and all of their friends are having little babies because they can't have their own. Why would these girls want to get pregnant again anyways, like seriously. You would think after having one baby at such a young age and having to waste half your teenage years caring for a child that they would just want to have fun. But then what do you do about the stupid guys that decided not to wrap their willy? These guys need a consequence too. These idiotic guys are going to have to look forward to getting a very pleasant vasectomy right after the baby is born.
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The Plan

The plan will be a piece of cake. The government will record every pregnancy of a women before she's 20, since the government has so much time on their hands. That's a joke. After the men are written down, they will have to go to the doctor and get their willy cut off. If these men don't show up to their appointment they will be tracked down and put in jail. Maybe once these men get to jail and realize the only people in their cell are men they will think twice about getting those girls pregnant. And those girls that decided to let the guys get them pregnant have to drive to weekly check ups at the doctor to make sure that they are not having sex or getting pregnant. They will also receive birth control that requires a super ridiculously long needle to inject the birth control bar into their arm which they will have to get every week. If these girl are that stupid to become pregnant again they will be sent to jail where they are surrounded by women. The birth control and vasectomy will be paid for by the so called "couple" and they will have to get this money on their own. It will be really funny to see how these girls come up with that kind of money. It will be even funnier to see how the guys plan on taking care of the kid.

The Advantages

There are probably some advantages to this plan. I mean let's be honest, if teens stopped having these crying babies, our country wouldn't have so many damn people in it. I will finally be able to stand in line at Forever 21 for less than 5 hours twiddling my thumbs trying to figure out why the line is damn long. Like why do all of these people wanna shop when I do? Just to see my beautiful face? I swear they do it on purpose half the time. And on top of that more kids will grow up knowing who their mom and dad are because adoptions most likely won't exist anymore. These little girls won't grow up thinking that they are worthless because their mom and dad just left them to find their own happiness and way in life. And wait I have one more reason for why my plan is the best. These teenagers will hopefully, finally, get it through their brains that they aren't responsible enough to take care of these damn kids. They will finally realize their mistakes of that one night where they got "hammered" and "pre-gamed" before going the club and sleeping around with guys. And then maybe, just maybe, these parents of these teens will be a little more strict about where they can go and with whom.
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The Expedients

Unlike everyone else's, my solution is the only one that will work. There are no other solutions other than mine that will be truly effective. People think that it's just as easy as putting an ad on t.v. to warn teenagers about teenage pregnancies and how they can change your life forever. I sit in front of the t.v. and laugh at the producers of these commercials because they actually think that they are making a difference. Another so called solution to teen pregnancies is that parents can simply talk more to their children about protection and how they can even prevent from becoming pregnant by not having sex. What teenage girl listens to their parents these days? Like honestly. I don't. And what girl doesn't want to be reckless and go against their parents wishes to experiment with guys. Another worthless solution would be that the teen could get an abortion to kill a little baby rather than just putting the baby up for adoption for someone else to love. What teenage girl would want to kill such an innocent little child? I wouldn't. Let's be honest these are some of the dumbest ideas I have ever heard.

The Conclusion

If these girls still don't learn from their mistakes after having to go to the doctor once a week and get that needle in their arms then I can agree with most guys that girls are stupid. If these teenage girls keep having babies unexpectedly all of the other teenage girls will think it's also okay to "sleep around" with guys at our young and immature age. The guys will then think it's okay to not wrap their willy's which will lead to more pregnancies. Don't these girls read in those Cosmopolitan Magazines that "eighty percent of teen pregnancies are unintended and that 34 percent of teenagers have at least one pregnancy before they turn 20?" These magazines keep showing us that sex is okay by putting all of the love and sex tips all over the magazine but then put in the statistics to try to scare the teenage girls away. I don't get it. Like why wouldn't these girls read the statistics instead of the tips? My plan, is like the only one that is even close to fixing these girl's problems. Period.
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