Focusing on a Part

The Healing Room at Heartspace

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Module Six - 60 minutes

Focusing on a Part

Knowing about parts, (including Exiles and Protectors, as well as Self), from earlier modules and from your therapy, prepares you to get to know them more deeply in your journey to healing. You have already identified a number of parts. You may have been observing them, checking in with them, and discovering new ones since learning about parts.

Recognizing parts and how they become activated and sometimes take over, will lead you to become curious about how they got this way and wonder if you could help them become less extreme, feel better, & become more harmonious with the rest of you inner family of parts.

When this happens, we call it a trailhead. A trailhead is something about a part or parts that has our attention and curiosity. It is a place to start an exploration. It can be helpful to keep a list of trailheads.

How to Start

You have done several modules where you have made an index card for a part, or selected a marble, piece of colored glass, fuzzy ball, a bead, or drawn a picture of a part. You can use one of these you already have or even start with a new one for the part you are focusing on.

Read the beginning of Chapter 5 in Self-Therapy, "Becoming Centered: Unblending From a Protector," pages 73-94.

Make Sure You Are Self-Present

When you have a trailhead and are ready to begin exploration, start by using grounding, centering, meditation, and resourcing. Use the approaches you have learned in The Healing Room or elsewhere to become as Self-Present as possible before focusing on a part.

Be Aware of Protectors

Protectors or Concerned Parts may show up and take away Self-Presence. Your internal system is protective and needs to trust the Self in order to explore the more vulnerable and sensitive parts of your system, especially Exiles. Read about Concerned Parts in Self-Therapy, pages 95-99.

6 F's

When focusing on a part, it is helpful to know and use the 6 F's from IFS:

  1. Find the part.
  2. Focus on the part.
  3. Flesh Out the part.
  4. How do you Feel Toward the part?
  5. BeFriend the part.
  6. Find out the Fears of the part.

Finding the Part

Finding the part means, literally, locating where the part is. Very often, you will be able to determine where the part is in your body, or around you spacially. For example it may be in your chest or stomach, arms, neck, or head. Or it could be in front of you at eye level, or down and to the left of you, behind your right shoulder, and so on. Or, you may be in some internal space like a room or an outdoor space with the part. You may be able to sense how close or far away the part is; standing 100 feet away vs. sitting right next to you.

Focusing on the Part

Focusing on the part is, of course, concentrating and paying close attention to everything you notice. That is why we often encourage going inside; closing your eyes so you can concentrate on what is happening inside you. This is usually the best way to notice information flowing from the part.

Fleshing it Out

Fleshing out the part is the result of focusing. You gain more and more detail about it. It is helpful to remember that you can get information from parts through numerous channels of internal information. All the senses you have externally are available internally as well; sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch. You may have internal dialogue or thoughts exchanged with a part. A part can share memories with you. A part can show you how it looks. A part can share its emotions and physical sensations with you.

How Do You Feel Toward the Part?

"How Do You Feel Toward the Part?" is a question that tells you if there are protectors or concerned parts getting blended. Anything other than the 8 C's of Self you learned earlier indicates protectors or concerned parts. Like indifference, anxiety, irritation, judgement, anger, fear, etc. If this comes up, see if the protector or concerned part will unblend after being acknowledged and understood. If not, you will need to work with that part before returning to your original part.

BeFriending the Part

BeFriending the Part means cultivating a relationship from your Self to the part. This is a lifetime friendship. The part needs to trust that the Self will always be there for it, from here on out. Find out what the part needs from you. This is not asking what the part needs from someone else or the world in general. Some things you have no control over. But there are things you may be able to do that would help the part feel safer, valued, important, loved, wanted, etc.

Find out the Fears of the Part

Burdened parts always have fears. From the Self, you have courage not only to learn what those fears are, but ultimately to face them and heal. Protectors, especially, have fears about what would happen if they stepped back, unblended, stopped doing what they do, the way they do it, and so on.

Nurturing a Child Part

If the part you have been focusing is a child part or your focusing leads you to a child part, it may need lots of nurturing from the Self in order to heal. There is a module on Nurturing a Child Part.

Take Your Time/Repeat

All modules are intended to be done unhurried & at your own pace. The designated timeframes are really just a guess. If you don't finish the module you are doing in the allotted timeframe, just note where you left off and schedule another time where you can finish the module. It is also helpful to repeat modules and alter them for your own individual purposes.

Providing feedback in the private group blog at will help us make modifications in estimated time, and improve the overall experience of using The Healing Room.

Read On

Feel free to read more in any of the books referenced in your modules. Specific excerpts have been identified for quick reference and easy digestion within modules, but you are welcome to spend more time in these books to expand your knowledge and increase your understanding. Schedule additional time in The Healing Room to use the resources in whatever way makes sense to you.

Journal About What You Discover

There is scratch paper (recycled junk faxes on one side, blank on the other), writing pads, and sketch pads for you to use to make drawings and writing notes about your Healing Room experience. Take a moment at any time during your Modules, or at the end to do so.

You may also want to bring along your own private journal for this purpose.

Alternating Bilateral Stimulation

ABS can enhance the work you do with your parts; increasing Self-Energy and deepening your relationship with the part.

Remember, The Healing Room is set up with a stereo system that can provide audible Alternating Bilateral Stimulation (ABS) which is a component of EMDR therapy (Eye-Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing). The unique Alternating Bilateral Stimulation sample played continuously in The Healing Room is called Ocean Crossover and mimics ocean waves moving back and forth across the room at a gentle low volume in the background. It has a relaxing effect and supports the neural integration of new perspectives and healing of negatively charged memories, particularly when it is paired with specific tasks.

Having the ABS playing at a volume loud enough to hear it, but low enough that it seems to fade into the background while you learn these skills, is optimal.

Using Chakras to Find Parts

In later repetitions of this module, you may be interested in reading the books on chakras and identifying parts associated with each chakra. As you get to know the chakras, you will find that certain parts impede the flow of energy associated with specific chakras, and often parts can be found simply by focusing and meditating on one chakra at a time. Specific yoga poses are connected with self-awareness around certain chakras and can be used as part of the meditation; finding and connecting with these parts, as well as opening the energy flow in that chakra. Exercises in these books can be very helpful in exploring and healing these parts.

Using The Moon Deck to Find Parts

In later repetitions of this module, you can explore The Moon Deck and browse the cards for reactions. The Moon Deck is comprised of what amounts to affirmations or positive intentions. To the extent that these feel true and harmonious within you, you can just use resourcing techniques learned in earlier modules to integrate them more fully. To the extent that there is dissonance in your system in reaction to any of these, you have a trailhead that will lead you to a part that is burdened. You can rate the statements on these cards from 1-7 according to how fully they resonate and feel true to the core. The lower the rating, the more interference there is from a part or parts.

Using Negative Belief Cards to Find Parts

In later repetitions of this module, you could use the deck of Negative Belief Cards to identify parts to work on. These negative beliefs are common conclusions drawn by people who have suffered trauma - especially repeatedly, and especially early in life. They come from EMDR work, and are essential for identifying burdens that are carried in the form of thoughts or beliefs. They are categorized by thoughts about Safety & Vulnerability, Control & Choice, Responsibility, and Self-Defectiveness.

As you look through these cards you may find that certain ones resonate at some level. If so, his is a trailhead for you to identify and work with the part that holds the negative belief.