Social Media Awareness
Amy Jacques, School Counselor
Social Media: How much is too much?
Social Network Sadness: a new trigger for depression?
Center of Eating Disorders of Sheppard Pratt in Baltimore, Md
Negative Peer Influence
IDENTITY CRISIS
At this time of wanting independence, and giving our kids the access and ability to create a "profile" online we could be inviting the possibility of an identity crisis. Many of our kids are creating profiles that are not who they are, so they can play out being an adult (or older teenager). When our kids are online constantly as their faux profile identities it does impact many by confusing who they really are to their "character". Am I a middle school student with rules, siblings, homework, chores, parent(s), and still the need to play or am I a teenager ready to risk anything to be considered cool? Our kids put themselves in situations they simply are not ready for, and they are not talking about it with any adults, sometimes until it is too late.
Unfortunately many of our middle school students highly prefer to chat online instead of actually interacting with their peers, face to face. This constant practice of socializing can create frequent fluctuations in adolescents' unpredictable moods and ability to have self control. And when a child is on social media for long periods of time (to socialize) it leaves less time for studying, playing or learning new skills. It can create a huge set back in the growth of their identity.
Apps for Monitoring to Research
Apps for Monitoring to research
Common Sense Media
PARENT CONTROLS ON THE iPhone
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/cell-phone-parenting/how-do-i-set-parental-controls-on-the-iphoneEVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PARENT CONTROLS
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/everything-you-need-to-know-about-parental-controls
3 SOCIAL MEDIA APPS SOME OF YOUR KIDS MAY BE USING...
Snapchat
Kik
This one was designed for 17 year old teens and up and connects strangers to strangers. This is not an app for middle school students, yet I do hear our kids talk about Kik. Keep your eye out for this one.
Houseparty
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/app-reviews/houseparty-group-video-chat
Put up a parking lot......
- Create a space in a caregiver's bedroom, located out of the way of the doorway, for a cell phone/laptop/iPad parking lot.
- Set a time in the evening to have your kids "unplug" and put their devices in the "parking" lot you created in the designated room.
- Do not allow your kids to have electronic devices in their rooms at night, their bed should be for sleeping (these devices are causing sleep disturbances for our kids).
The great thing about having an established area for the devices is that you can use it at any time. Dinner time, put the devices in the parking lot. Time to read, put the cell phone in the parking lot. Time to go out to do an activity with the family, put the cell phone in the parking lot.
The parking lot needs to be in an area that is not accessible during the night, when you are sleeping. Our kids can be so tempted that they sneak to where the lot is to retrieve their items and then replace their devices in the night, before you wake. I hear this story from time to time.
As parents, you have to set the boundaries because middle school kids can not, on their own. These devices, likely are devices you paid for so ultimately they are yours and you get to decide how they are used. Your kids should always have that in mind. Having these devices is a privilege and with privilege comes responsibility and respect. Following family rules is both responsible and respectful.
A piece of advice that could save a child's life, or help parents find a missing child:
Mr. Halligan made this agreement with his kids. Because he did, he had Ryan's user name and password for the sites he socialized on. It was there, where he learned about Ryan's online friends and how he learned who specifically bullied Ryan and what happened to his son. He was able to confront parents and children and create closure and have a better understanding of how his son was feeling.
If your child ever goes missing, having access to their social media accounts may help provide some information that could be helpful in the search for your child.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you obtain this information from your child. You never know when you may need access to their online world.
If you are interested about Ryan, check out his website ryanpatrickhalligan.com
Amy Jacques, Middle School Counselor
Email: jacques.amy@newfairfieldschools.org
Website: https://sites.google.com/a/newfairfieldschools.org/mrs-jacques-7th-grade-school-counseling-corner/
Location: New Fairfield Middle School, Gillotti Road, New Fairfield, CT, United States
Phone: 203 312-5902
Twitter: @ARCJ1989