The Human Element

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Physical Properties of Jeff

  • Has a white outer layer and blond hair
  • Moves around at a high velocity
  • Can cause irritation if exposed to for long periods
  • Boils when stubs toe
  • Melts if presented with chocolate
  • Can become angry if requested to learn math
  • Becomes angry when exposed to homework
  • Requires frequent sleep or else becomes volatile

Chemical properties of Jeff

  • Is attracted to food, but not to brussels sprouts
  • Is repelled by cockroaches and rats
  • Will repel most other humans
  • May explode spontaneously if sung happy birthday
  • Is impervious to sarcasm
  • Requires copious amounts of high fives to keep self-esteem at a stable level

Description of Jeff

  • Element Name: Jeff
  • Atomic Number: 162
  • Symbol: FT
  • Discoverers: Laura Harper & Jim Synhorst
  • High concentrations of Jeff found in Richardson, in restaurants, and on soccer fields
  • Low concentrations of Jeff found in anywhere cold or with homework